Monday, December 21, 2009

Just the Facts

Because it is 11:00pm, and I shopped with the masses today, and fought the traffic, and spent the last several hours wrapping presents, I can only offer you these brief snippets of my day. Just the facts, no time or energy for (very many) embellishments.

Things that are true about my day:

1) The roads were crazy and the thought went through my head that, if I were to get into a car accident, I would refuse any medical assistance because my legs are just that hairy. Sorry people, but it's the truth. My husband is far away and it's very cold outside.

2) Pat the Bunny's shower is the bane of my existence.
Infinitesimal adjustments to the hot and cold water knobs result in drastic changes in water temperature...about one minute after you make the adjustment.
Picture this, I get in the shower.
(Wait, don't picture that. Refer to point 1.)
Anyway, I go to make the water a little warmer by turning the cold water down a fraction of a millimeter. I wait. The shower gets even colder.
I repeat. Nothing.
Repeat again.
Now the first adjustment finally kicks in and it gets a touch warmer, then before I know it I have third degree burns because all of my micro-adjustments have caught up with me. So I turn the cold water up higher and cling to the wall until it adjusts. Then I'm stuck in icy cold water.
And so on.
And so forth.
It's a wonderful way to start your day.

3) I do not own a dog. But PTB does.
So when I volunteered to take Grace Louise out for a stroll this evening it did not occur to me to bring along a bag.
The temperature was still in the 30's, the snow was falling lightly, and I have a cute new alpaca hat I wanted to wear. (Well technically it's Alex's alpaca hat, but it's too big for her.) I thought it would be like a nice scene from a Christmas movie.
But I've never seen a Christmas movie where the girl* in the cute hat, walking her dog in the pretty falling snow, has to run from the scene of not one, but two instances of the dang dog pooping in someone's yard.
I felt bad, really I did, but I was kind of at a loss for what to do about it. I told Grace not to, but she didn't listen. Kind of like she didn't listen when I told her to stop pulling at the leash, and instead she made all sorts of terrible noises as if she were coughing up a hairball.
The only solace I found in my criminal activity was that it's going to be cold enough tonight to freeze the poop, which might negate any shoe destruction should someone step in it.

*term used loosely

4) I had a Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha from Starbucks today.

And now I must go to bed, I need to be well rested before tomorrow's battle with the shower. Goodnight.


The Lumberjack's Wife said...

Oh, I hate when my dog poops on walks! I am never prepared and I always look like an irresponsible dog owner.

Good luck with the shower! My sister never shaves her legs from like Oct-May. Gross. Gross. Gross. :)

Rachel said...

Our shower does the same thing. It's like a porcelin-tiled torture chamber. Every morning. I hate it.

Sunk Costs said...

I haven't shaved in a week and my husband IS home.

I know just what you mean about clinging to the wall waiting for the temperature to get to where you can stand it. Longest few seconds of the day sometimes.

Nicole said...

Next time just kick some snow over it! A dog pulling the leash - ahh I can relate. Show that puppy who is boss and make him heal behind you, it occassionaly works.

Jen McD said...

last minute gift idea:

They make little baggie holders that attach to the leash - always have a bag when you walk. Unless you run out of bags and forget to refill it for as long as you both shall live. It's happened before.