Monday, June 28, 2010

Driving Along in my Automobile

If you will, please allow me to recap our lovely roadtripping adventure for you.
Buckle up.

Here we are on day one pulling out of Mountain Home. Aren't the children looking thrilled?

Fun Fact: Derek has absolutely no idea what the moving process means. Every time we got in the van, he would point out that he wanted to go to someplace new, and he did not want to go home.
No problem, son.
We have no home.
Every last earthly possession we have is currently on wheels.
(Except of course for that house that we can't get rid of. That is not on wheels.)

Here we are waving goodbye to Alex's preschool.

Here we are passing the Thai trailer from whence we enjoyed eating.

Here we are bidding adieu to The Walmarts, where I spent many a dollar.

Here is the sign directing us to the highway.

And here is the point in our journey when my husband insisted that I put the camera away.
And so I did.
You're welcome.

We tried to be smarter with our stops along the way.
We used to just stop for meals at fast food joints. And that, my friends, is a rookie mistake.
It's better to stop at places where the kids can run around a bit and play, and then grab food to eat in the car.
An extra advantage to that plan is that it provides about 20 minutes on the road when my children are not complaining about being hungry.
Yep. Actively eating has that effect on them.

(Note: Alex ate about a giraffe's height in Fruit by the Foot. At one point she even sang about it, to the tune of "Pants on the Ground". She sang: "Fruit by the Foot, Fruit by the Foot, Looking like a Fool with your Fruit on your Foot.  Chuckle Chuckle.)
The first "fun stop" we made was at a children's museum near Salt Lake City. (The Blue Star Museums program is offering free entry to military families to certain museums this summer, check it out.)

So we played for a bit.

Rode the range.

Had a geography lesson.

Tried not to cry when looking at the distance between where we were and our final destination.

And then got back in the van.

As I posted on Saturday night, we made it a good distance and stopped for the night in Laramie, Wyoming. 
Much to my husband's chagrin, I selfishly insisted on taking a shower in the morning. Apparently he would have preferred to marry a trucker who doesn't bathe on road trips. 
Despite our minor disagreement, we were on the road the next morning by 8am.

We made pretty good time, and got into Amarillo by dinnertime. We had planned to stop there for the night, but since it was only about 3.5 hours from where our friends live in Texas, we thought we would just press on.

You see, our children hadn't slept.
In the 10 hours that we were on the road.
For the second day.


Ahem. So since they hadn't slept, we figured if we got back on the road they would have to fall asleep and we could easily make it into town that night.

I was wrong.
They did fall asleep, mind you.
Only we didn't easily make it into town.
As soon as the last rays of the sun had disappeared, the sky opened up and we were like Noah in the great flood.
(Note that if my husband had had his way, I would have smelled like the animals on Noah's ark.)

Ladies and gentlepeeps, I have never driven through a storm like this before. It was like a sheet of water blasting the windshield.
We were creeping along at 35 mph on the highway.

And just 100 miles from our stop, we called it quits.
We stayed for the night in a hotel in Childress, Texas, after driving 693 miles on day #2.

The good news? We had a really short day #3.
We got up and let the kids swim in the hotel pool this morning, took our time getting ready (read: I was not berated for my hygeine practices), and then drove the short distance to our friends' home.

Now we are having fun playing and reuniting, and taking a break from the road!
We'll be here for about a week before we start off on the next leg of the trip.

Happy Monday to Ya'll! (just practicing)

Homeless Nomads in Texas

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Road Trip- Day 1, By the numbers

644 miles driven
3 states traveled (Idaho, Utah, Wyoming)
7 children's videos watched (Monsters Vs Aliens, Boz the Bear: Christmas Episode, Cinderella, Toy Story 2, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Elmo's Potty Time, The Little Mermaid)
6 altercations between Josh's head and the DVD player
Countless requests for snacks, drinks, toys, and games
2 adults typing in the dark in a hotel room

And the most disturbing number of all:

00.00 Car-Sleeping minutes logged by Schore spawn

That is not a typo.
No one slept.
Not even for a minute.
We drove for 10 hours.

And that is all I have to say about today.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Disconnected and it feels so...


A terrible thing happened at my house yesterday:

My internet service was disconnected.

I feel so empty.
So void of purpose.

Other than the purpose of keeping children alive, dealing with packers and movers, and cleaning the house. But those things aren't nearly as entertaining as my beloved laptop.

Our house is half-boxed. Everything will be picked up and taken away tomorrow.
Our road trip begins on Saturday morning.

Wish us luck! I'll post again from our first hotel stop.

Out of touch in Idaho

Monday, June 21, 2010

Running Out of Time

Do you know that feeling when you think you have everything under control until it's 4 days before you move across the country and you realize that having things under control is just a mirage in a desert of things to do as numerous as the grains of sand in that very desert and the desert is as far and long as this run-on sentence?

Me too.

I have many things to tell you.
Many insignificant things.
And since time is not my friend, I will revert back to my beloved bullet point format for ease and efficiency.

-- Yesterday was Father's Day.
We took the kids to see Toy Story 3. This is the second movie they've seen in a theater.
Because as you may know, it costs quite a bit to see movies these days.
And because I feel that movies are overpriced, I didn't even feel bad that when we entered the theater yesterday, my fake Coach bag from Korea was housing:
1 bag, family size- tootsie roll midgies
1 box- junior mints
1 box- cookie dough bites
1 box, large- rainbow nerds
1 bag, family size- red vines
2 cans- Diet A&W rootbeer
2 pouches- tropical punch capri sun

I think it's important that I identified the soda as being "diet," don't you think?
I'm sure it will make a difference considering it's fellow purse-dwelling contents.

The kids loved the movie, and Derek sat on the edge of the seat the entire time.

Mostly because if he leaned back, the seat would fold up and envelop him.
It's rough being 2.

-- After the movie, we did some shopping and let the sugar high wear down. Then we ate at The Olive Garden.
Josh, being the almost-sole consumer of the junior mints, red vines, and cookie dough bites, decided he would like to eat a little lighter for dinner.
But did you know that the same unlimited soup and salad that is available at lunchtime for $6-ish, costs $9.95 at dinner?
So here's a little insight into how the Schore minds work:

Josh-- Do you think that's too pricey for soup and salad?
Erin-- Good question. Well, for one dollar more, you can order this yummy looking special, which comes with salad and breadsticks. Then you can just eat all the salad you want and get a to-go box for the meal. That way I won't have to cook for you tomorrow.
Josh-- And that is why I married you. (or something like that)

-- We were seated at a booth at The Olive Garden. I used to prefer booths, as I feel they are a more squishy seated, comfortable alternative to the traditional wooden chair.
However, in recent years, my appreciation of the booth has declined. For I find that I am forced to sit next to at least one of my offspring, and they have this annoying need to be all up in my personal space while I'm eating. Greasy hands want to touch me. Little feet kick me. Spaghetti noodles are slurped within spraying distance of my face.
And so we have invented "The Wall." It is an imaginary wall that is built between me and my booth-mate. It goes up the second that food arrives at the table, and does not come down until I say so.
Crossing the wall will result in loss of life, limb, or that chocolate mint that comes with the check.

I love The Wall.

-- I have made many a list in the recent days. I think I may even have made a list of lists that I needed to make. One such list includes things that I should try to get accomplished during the hours we will spend in the van.
Topping that list: Reintroduce the tweezers to those two caterpillars that live above my eyes.
I'm open to any other suggestions you may have.

-- Since we have signed the contract with the person who will be renting our house, we have gotten 2 calls from realtors who have wanted to show the house.

-- Approximately 5 years, 1 month, and 2 days ago, I gave birth to a baby girl. We named her Alexandra. I gained over 40 pounds during her pregnancy.
We brought her home from the hospital and I proceeded to cry about pretty much everything, especially those 40 pounds.
I think I had some postpartum blues.
And a french fry addiction.

I had never been much of a crier up until that point. And definitely not a cry-in-front-of-other-people kind of crier. 

But something strange has occurred in the 5 years since then-- I cry way more often and more easily than ever before. Touching movie? Yep. Sad book? Uh-huh. Tragedy in the news? Bring on the tissues.
Move away from great friends? Fuhgeddaboudit.

I think something broke in me and I've turned into someone with feelings and emotions.

Fact: There was a scene in Toy Story 3 in which the mother is standing in her son's room as he gets ready to leave for college. She is crying.
And so was I.

Forgive me. 

And so, in order to preserve my reputation as a mean jerk, I am going to slip out of town this weekend without saying goodbye to anyone. I will say a casual goodbye to a few friends, and then tell them that I will be by on Saturday morning for the more formal adieus.
Then I will high-tail it out of town.
I promise it will be better for all involved.

No one wants to see me blubber.
It's not pretty.

-- I think I had more irrelevant factoids for you, but I must go to bed.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Things I'm thinking about

1) Blogging Fail--
Yes, I know I am a sad and pathetic blogger lately, with my sparse updates about things like the dentist.
I'm afraid things wont be improving much over the next several weeks, until we get settled in our new home in North Carolina.
A mere 2,460 miles away.
But if it would make you happy, I would be pleased to give you a play-by-play of our road trip. Down to every, "he's breathing too loud" and potty break. Would you like that?

Good. Because the swagger wagon does not have internet access. But I could always type it out in the van and send it from the hotel...hmmm.

2) 30 Rock--
 I don't think I've ever heard Josh laugh as hard as he did yesterday when we were watching an episode of 30 Rock, and Kenneth referred to something being "as useless as a Mom's college degree."

Har har. Har-de-har-har Joshua.

3) Hair Parting--
In a riveting article I read on MSN.com, I learned that one way to appear more youthful is to change the part in your hair. Because the sun will dull and cause gray hairs more quickly in the part line, it's best to surprise your hair with a new part.
I tried that last night, and I've been pushing wayward strands from me eyes ever since.
Hair is stubborn.
Also, I still appear to be 31.

4) Pat the Bunny takes on Ireland-- This may need a post all it's own. Yes, I do believe it does. I will be back soon with that.

5) Happy Saturday.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A Tale of Teeth

One of the things on my to-do list before leaving town was to get my dental cleaning out of the way.
I kept putting it off for obvious reasons.
I mean, it's the dentist.

So I called yesterday hoping they wouldn't be able to squeeze me in.
No such luck.
If I had wanted a haircut, or maybe a massage, I'm certain that I wouldn't be able to get an appointment.
But the dentist?

"Oh, no problem. How about tomorrow at 2pm?"

Gee. Thanks.

Do you think they know that no one likes to go see them?

But off I went at 2pm like a good patient.

It was the slowest cleaning of my life. Painstakingly slow.
Like 5 minutes per tooth slow.

This is weird, because my teeth are not that dirty. I know, because I spend about an hour before I go to the dentist brushing, flossing, and scraping any last food or plaque particle from every tooth surface. I'm a touch obsessive about it.

Then I have to explain why my gums are swollen and bleeding before I even get in the chair.

I think I have a mental hangup about the dentist.
You see, I was a good kid. I never got in trouble and I always got good grades.
I was a people-pleaser, and getting a good report in any event was important to me.

And I can still remember hearing that I had my first cavity.

I felt like a second class citizen.
I was so sure that the dentist would think I didn't brush.

But I did! I promise!
And my mom would check our mouths using this scary sharp implement from her sewing basket to scrape our teeth to see if she could get anything off.
If so, back to the sink.

(Incidentally, that was about the only instrument my mother ever used from her sewing basket. Hi, Mom! Remember how you used to try to keep us from joining any plays at church because you didn't want to have to sew the costumes? If I never win an Academy Award, know that I will always blame you.)

And yet, year after year, cavities and more cavities.
Apparently I have "soft" teeth. And a Swedish Fish addiction.

Back to today. The technician kept asking me questions, and then we would slow down the whole process when I stopped to answer them. Why do they ask questions when they have their hands in your mouth?

It's a mystery.

And do you know what else?

I have a cavity.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Fun Facts About Today

1) I woke up with a zit on my chin.
2) The zit reminded me of being in high school.
3) I remembered that while in high school, I wore what is essentially a onesie. You know, like babies wear. Do you remember them? They were called "body suits."
4) I didn't get any of my camping laundry done.
5) It took a 20 minute phone call to cancel my internet service. I thought that to be a bit excessive.
6) I took the kids to the pool for the first time, and we had to leave early because someone puked in the pool.
7) The puker was not one of my children.
8) I put on the one bathing suit I own and did my best to avoid any and all mirrors.
9) Today was the hottest day of the year so far, at 85 degrees.
10) The forecast for Wednesday is for a high of 56 degrees. Tit bit nipply for June, don't you think?
11) I just used the term "tit bit nipply."
12) I think I should stop while I'm ahead.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

(Mostly) Happy Campers

We went camping last night.

Well, maybe cabin-ing would be a more appropriate term.
But I should point out that my bed was quite hard and not very comfortable.
And there was no plumbing, so that definitely adds points for roughing it, right?

Of course I didn't exactly know there wasn't going to be any plumbing or I might have tried to dehydrate myself before we left.

Moving on.

The kids had a blast playing in the sand, dirt, and lake water.

They teamed up against Daddy in a watergun fight.

They fished with a princess fishing pole and no bait.

(Turns out we weren't the most prepared campers. Bait is just one item in a long list of forgotten necessities: plates, ketchup, a lighter, cooking pan, pillows, and indoor plumbing were also left behind.)

A rare find: Friends who are willing to camp with us. Twice.

Check out how excited Derek was to be on the boat.

He eventually perked up when we pulled out some potato chips.
Salty snacks are his love language.

Alex fancied herself the rightful captain of the ship. She did not want to be displaced from the position of authority at the helm. 

Turns out she feels that way about most things in life. She kind of thinks she's running the show.
(She gets it from her father, but don't tell him I said so.)

The weather was beautiful-- sunny and 70's.

And the piece de resistance: Marshmallows. 
They make me happy inside. 
And chubby outside. 

Something else that makes me happy inside-- This guy:

(Except he kind of looks like a vampire in that picture don't you think? Josh has been making me watch lots of zombie and vampire movies lately.)
And this guy:

And this guy, too:

And I can't forget this girl:

Even though she proved the theory:
(1 x Alex) - 4 hours of expected sleep = (Alex's age minus 3 years)

In other words, she acted like a two year old all morning long until we got home for naps.
Which the whole family took.
Some of us (me) for almost 3 hours.

Camping mystery: 1 night away = 1weeks worth of laundry.

We had a fun night away, and now we're back to the reality that in two weeks, we won't be living in Idaho anymore.Yikes.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


(That title is totally unrelated to this post, but I wanted to conduct an informal survey to see how many of you are now singing the lyrics to "I Get Knocked Down"?)

Our countdown clock is ticking.
2 weeks from today the packers will be here boxing up all of our worldly goods.
All of our possessions will be hauled away in a truck.

A stranger will be handling my unmentionables.

Maybe now would be a good time to clean out my underwear drawer of every item dating back to the 90's.
Actually, I think the year 2005 would have qualified as a good time to do that, but better late than never, right?

We're trying to fill our last days here with lots of time with friends and doing some "Idaho" things.

Last weekend we went to Table Rock, which is a geological landmark in Boise.
From the top you can view the whole city down below you.

When Alex saw the cross, she said "Was Jesus that big?"

We made an attempt at a family photograph.

But Derek wasn't having it.
And then Alex wasn't having it.
And then I realized that my legs were whiter than snow, and then I wasn't having it.

Note to self: Expose legs to sun.

Derek still wasn't having it.

And then he went boneless on us, and so we gave up.

We did some hiking.

Alex did some flirting.

And Derek did some freeloading.

This coming weekend we're going camping.
The weather forecast in the nearby mountain areas includes rain and lows in the 30's, so we'll be staying closer to home. But that's okay-- the only aspect of camping that I care about can be summed up in one word:

I'm not a pyromaniac, mind you.

But you may recall that I have a bit of a sweet tooth.
And there is only one way to roast a marshmallow.

I know, because in the past I've tried roasting them on a gas range and well as with a candle. It's just not the same.

I don't even want the chocolate and graham cracker.
Just the pure sugar fluff, slightly burnt on the end of a stick.

I think it might even be worth a night of sleeplessness.
I'll let you know.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


Last Friday as I was driving in my unofficial non-Toyota swagger wagon, there was a tornado warning issued for some nearby areas.
This is the first time since we've been in Idaho that I'd heard any mention of a tornado.

In Mountain Home we only got some light rain, so I thought we had avoided the storm.

It turns out that the tornado had stealthily slipped into my house through an open window, wreaked it's havoc, and left a disaster behind.
I have a confession--

I live here:

Here in the house with everything taken down of the walls. Curtains removed, and chaos reigning.
I never realized just how white the walls were until all of the pictures and decorations came down.

This place could use some paint.

Which reminds me that the bedrooms still look like this:

With the beds floating in the middle of the rooms and all of the furniture pulled away from the walls.

Plastic and painters tape in a jumble on the floor.

Grocery bags in the kitchen. (A girl can only eat so many meals from the freezer and pantry before you really need something fresh, you know.)

Yes, those Hint of Lime Tostitos count as something fresh.

This is my dining room table. 

Care to guess how many family dinners have been taking place here lately?

Alex has been decorating purses. It's a cute little cut-out book she got from her Aunt & Uncle for her birthday.

Dear Aunt Jessie and Uncle John, 
Alex loves the purse making kit you got for her. 
And I love it too. 
Except for all of the teeny tiny little decorations that she has trailed throughout my obviously tidy home. I will remember this when you procreate. 

Brace yourselves folks, it's about to get worse.
This is my kitchen countertop:

And yes, that is an empty bag of Hint of Lime Tostitos. Why else would I have needed a new bag?

There is a sandwich board in my entryway.

And I think I may be the first person ever to fail in an attempt to make Jello Jigglers.

Can I tell you how I feel right now as I look around this house?
Typing away instead of addressing the problem?

I feel like this oversized bunny.

Who has obviously given up on life, but did not have the decency to give up on life somewhere out of the way.
Nope. Right in the family room, with it's cottony tail sticking up in the air.

So the tornado did indeed touch down in Mountain Home.
Let us hope that I can get the damage under control soon.
Lest I perish in the mess.
And no one would be able to find me.


I would say that I'm off to clean up, but that would be a lie.
I'm off clear a path to the kitchen so I can feed my offspring before Alex's t-ball game.
On my 9-year anniversary.
Of which my husband and I almost completely forgot about.
Because we are busy.
And in all likelihood cannot locate the calendar.

Goodbye again.

Monday, June 7, 2010


We are determined to stay ahead of the chaos with this move.

This will be our 5th move in 9 years, so I think I may have some authority to say that it might not be possible to avoid all chaos when moving. But it's good to have a goal.

And in light of that goal, we've been plugging away at our to-do lists.

I did something today that I've never done before:
I painted.

Yes, I have lived for 31 years and never painted a wall.
It has been a bleak, white existence, but somehow I've survived.

When we bought this house, the kids' bedrooms were already painted pink and blue. A little more traditional than we might have chosen for ourselves, but it sure took the guesswork out of which room should go to which kid.

And since we had a grand total of 2 weeks until Derek made his exit from my uterus, we just left the rooms as they were and embraced the pink and blue.
(On an interesting side note, the original owners did not actually have any children-- they had "his and hers" rooms that they chose to paint in those colors.)
But now we find ourselves about to rent our house to someone who does not have young children, so the pink and blue had to go.
We went with Verde Antique, a kind of sage green color.

Josh left for work this morning, and I was in charge of deciding for sure on a paint color.

But my good friend (you know, the one who lets me utilize her facilities at a moment's notice) volunteered to help me paint today.
So we painted.
Josh was quite surprised to come home and see the rooms almost complete.

He may also have been surprised to find that our 5, 3, 2, and 1 year olds were running around the house and backyard largely unsupervised while we painted and occasionally threw some food at the little monsters.

See how excited I was?

It's the little things people.

Turns out that painting is kind of a pain in the buttocks, and I'm glad that it's done.
And now I can move on to the rest of my to-do list.

-Oil change
-Packing for our trip
-Cleaning out appliances
-Transferring utilities
-Pap smear
-Sharing too much on my blog

I can probably cross that last one off my list now, eh?

Friday, June 4, 2010

Round Here

I did a workout with my friend three days ago.
It involved many, many, MANY push-ups and pull-ups, with some cardio thrown into the mix.

(The pull-ups were done on a machine that helps with some of the weight. You didn't think I was She-Ra or something did you?)

I did the workout.
Then at 3 the next morning I was awakened.
Do you know what woke me?

It was pain.
Pain woke me.
Pain so severe that I was forced to stumble into the bathroom looking for some motrin or tylenol. And when I was unsuccessful at finding any, I chewed up every last cherry-flavored children's tylenol tablet that we owned.

Ever since then, I have been unable to fully extend my arms.

I am about to pen the most intelligent statement I have ever written:
Turns out I use my arms an awful lot during the day.

Pain is my constant companion. I smell like Ben-Gay.

You who made me do this workout. You know who you are.
And more importantly, I know where you live.


Moving on.

Today when the kids were eating lunch, Alex asked me to get her some more milk. Since I only actually listen to about 40% of the words that make their way out of her mouth, I mumbled uh-huh, just a minute, and then forgot about it completely.

(In my defense, less than 40% is actually worth listening to, so I think I'm doing a fairly good job.)

A few minutes later I hear "Moooooommmmmmmy. You said you were going to get me some milk and I'm very thirsty."
and then came this little jewel of an afterthough:
"it's like it's your first day or something."

I laughed. I couldn't help it.
And I know exactly who to blame it on:
One Joshua B. Schore

For I can assure you that these scenarios have played out many a time in our household:

Derek, not watching where he's going, walks right into a wall.
Josh: Hey Buddy, it's like it's your first day walking.

Alex, a very messy eater, spills her yogurt down her shirt.
Josh: Alex, is it your first day eating?

Sometimes it's amusing to hear it come full circle.
(Other times it's not so amusing.)


We're making progress on the pantry cleaning.

Josh moaned out loud when he read my post about clean-up meals.
He then asked if I might be able to look at our ingredients and see if I can make some meals out of them instead of just serving him a side dish of canned mushrooms.

He's so needy.


Alex's birthday was May 19th.
I assure you we are very thankful for all of the wonderful gifts she received.

Unfortunately it appears that we are only thankful enough to write out the notes, but not enough to address and send them.

They will be in the mail soon.
Hopefully before she turns 6.


It would appear that we have found someone to rent our house.

While we would have preferred to sell, the market here in Mountain Home is less than desirable. So we are happy to at least have the house taken care of for now, and will try to sell again down the road when things turn around a bit.

Thank you all for listening to me moan and complain for the past few months. I shall now give you a brief reprieve.


And as soon as we are settled into our new home in North Carolina, I will replace the crying and complaining formerly reserved for our house with tears and complaints related to potty training my son.

My son who insists that he is BIG. And NOT A BABY.

I guess we'll see about that, huh?

Signing off,
I've-been-typing-this-with-a-pencil-in-my-teeth-because-my-arms-hurt-so-bad in Idaho

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Hip and Cool.

Yesterday I did something Hip and Cool.

Yes, me.


I went to a concert with some girlfriends.

Good price, huh? Military special for Memorial Day.
It was quite fun, and the girl can sang.

There were four of us that attended the concert together, and between us we are the owners and operators of 6 children and 1 fetus.
We thought we would go to a concert, get a night away from the kids, and feel young again.

Well. We accomplished two of our goals.

We realized that you can't un-age yourself just by attending a concert. We were initially hit with that realization as we were walking through the parking lot and found ourselves discussing the merits of minivans.
By nature, minivans (while practical), are neither Hip nor Cool.

(Unless you can channel your inner swagger.)

Then we started to notice the group of girls walking in ahead of us.
They were sporting jeggings, and pulling them off quite nicely.

Did you know of these things? They are denim leggings, or, the skinniest skinny jean known to mankind.

The four of us will probably never wear jeggings. Because we are mothers. And therefore in all likelihood cannot pull it off.

But, I still have to say that we were somewhat Hip and Cool by the simple fact that we were out. On the town. After dark.

Despite the fact that we all recognized that our bodies are not used to being out past midnight.

Who am I kidding? My body is not used to being out past 8pm.

It doesn't happen often. I shall relish it.

Do you know what is not so Hip and Cool?
Unintentionally taking a spill on a sand dune.

Allow me to share a little story with you.
The other day, we went out to the nearby Bruneau Sand Dunes.

They are an oddity of nature, as great piles of sand have no rightful place in Idaho.

Yet they exist, and entice the locals to come out with their children and sleds, and enjoy the scenery.
The dune we were perched atop was quite steep.
The picture doesn't quite do it justice.

We had a hard time lugging, pushing, and carrying the children up to the top because it was so steep.

We played at the peak for a while, and then prepared to let the kids sled back down to the bottom.

Alex and our friend's little girl were all set to go down together.
We had been watching folks sled down, and they weren't going very fast. So we felt comfortable letting Alex and Reese (who is not quite 2 years old) go down together.

Those other people must not have been going very fast because they were a good deal heavier than our sled of small girls.

Alex and Reese went fast.
Very fast.

So fast, that I decided that I should chase after them and do my best to grab the sled and slow them down.

I failed.

And Laura, waiting at the bottom, caught a bit of that on film.

It is a very short video clip because Laura had to stop filming to try to save their lives.
I shall break it down for you:
1) You will see Josh at the top of the hill in a black shirt. He is the one who gave the girls a good, strong push, and that is where their ride initiated.
2) When the video starts, I am already in full pursuit of the runaway sled.
3) When it becomes obvious that I cannot catch them, I try for a dive.
4) It does not work.
5) Check out how fast that sled is going!
6) Listen for Alex's shrieks
7) Take note of the voices of the surrounding strangers yelling "Catch Them!"
8) No one was able to catch them.
9) They came to a smooth stop and no one was injured.
10) Reese got up and toddled away, quite proud of herself.
11) Alex cried for the next 10 minutes.

After watching the clip, I figured out that my little roll on the dune is why piles of sand fell out of my bra that night when I changed into my jammies.

Me, tumbling in the dune: Not Hip. Not Cool.
And, for the second time, I am out of the running for Mother of the Year.