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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Something's Fishy

Literally.
Fishy.

And it's my daughter.

You see, for her birthday, the dear girl was presented with a gift that took her breath away.


A gift that when she got it, caused her to immediately get naked.


A gift of...


 a mermaid costume.

And not just any mermaid costume.
But The Ariel Deluxe Costume.

The problem?

It smells like rotten fish.

Here is the conversation that ensued as Josh helped Alex into the costume:

J: Erin, did you get some kind of defective costume? This thing reeks. It smells like fish.
E: Well, it was on clearance. But I thought that was just because the Disney store was closing.
J: Do you think it smells like fish on purpose? Because she's a mermaid?
E: I believe that would be poor marketing.  Maybe it will air out.

So we febreezed it and hung it outside.
The smell is better, but it's still there.
I wont hang it in her closet for fear that her other clothes will assume the stench.

And Alex? Well she wont stop wearing it.
And then she has the nerve to want to sit next to me while she has it on.
And it smells.

So I did what anyone would do.
I googled "Disney Ariel costume smells like fish."
And I came across a review for a different princess costume, in which the reviewer reported that "at least the glue holding the costume together doesn't smell like fish, like the Deluxe Ariel one did."

Mystery solved.
Thank you google.

So now when Alex wants to wear her costume, she just has to ask me to get it from it's new storage location in the backyard.

Fishy, I tell you.

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(I use those asterisks when I have no good way to transition to the next topic)

So we had a showing for the house on Monday.
Don't let me get you all excited-- we haven't heard back from them or anything.
But at least it was something, right?

Right?

*crickets chirping*

I would be lying if I told you that I'm doing good with the whole "It'sjustahouseIt'sjustahouseIt'sjustahouse" thing.
That is, of course, entirely true. It is just a house.

But on the other hand, the clock is ticking. And it ticks to the mantra of "It'sjusttwohousepaymentsIt'sjusttwohousepaymentsIt'sjusttwohousepayments."
 
Sigh.
But God has always taken care of us in the past, and we are trusting our future to Him as well. So I pray and try to put it out of my head. And repeat every 5 minutes as necessary.

We have only gotten one serious inquiry about renting the house. And they had three cats.
You have to admit that's a bit excessive.

Pray with us! We could use it...

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So here's a lovely little tidbit from our experience showing the house:
 A realtor called at 12:30 and said she would like to bring her client by between 1:30 and 2:30.
Enter manic cleaning.

I never knew how much cleaning I could accomplish in one hour. It helps when you're sprinting between rooms.
I know. Because I was.

So sweaty Erin cleaned the house while Josh went out and mowed the lawn. Then Josh took the kids out to lunch so they wouldn't be underfoot while I waited for the realtor to come over.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
1:30.
2:00.
2:15.
Are they going to come?
I'm getting nervous.
Too much time waiting.

Do you know what "nervous stomach" is?
It's a condition I have.
It involves the sudden and urgent need to use the restroom when one is not available. 

It rears it's ugly head predictably at the following times:
-- When I'm driving to the airport
-- When I'm leaving Lelli's
-- Anytime that it is entirely inconvenient and embarrassing

So I'm waiting at the house for the realtor to show up any minute to show our house.
And I have to go. 
 I obviously can't go in our house.

What's a girl to do?
So I called my friend Laura.
She's the kind of friend a girl can dial up and ask "Hey Laura. This is going to sound strange. Can I come over to your house and poop?"
She said yes.

Everyone cheer for Laura!

So I called Josh and asked him to come home and exchange the kids with me and I would take them to Laura's while I, well, you know. And he could let the realtor in.

But then my plans were thwarted when they pulled up at that exact moment.
You'll all be happy to know that I held it in together until after they left.

The End.

Do I share too much?

It would appear that I also suffer from diarrhea of the mouth.

14 comments:

Jennifer said...

Yup... I think they say that you want your house to smell like freshly baked cookies... Not BM... Yuck Erin! ;)

Alex would get along SOOOOOO well with my girls... She and Taryn can fight over the fishy mermaid outfit. That was Taryn's anxiously awaited for reward for learning her letters... But it HAD to have a mermaid tail -- important right?!?

Jen McD said...

You could have used the bathroom and just hung the mermaid costume in there to air it out. I'm sure the realtor would be calling back for another showing!

ps - she is the cutest thing ever in that costume!!! I might go ahead and buy for the girl that may never be, Ariel is my favorite

PBJCJ said...

I so look forward to reading your posts..you always crack me up!

thelumberjackswife said...

You are such a free spirit, Erin, speaking of your poopies and such! :)

What else you got going on there?
Hemorrhoids?
Warts?
Seeping wounds?
Toe fungus?

Oh, kidding.

Love the costume. Love little girls and their costumes.
Bummer about the fishy smell. Good luck with that.

Proverbs 31 Wannabe said...

I can so relate to your anxiety and trying to trust in God and His timing. Sometimes I just want to say,"Hello? Anyone up there? Why won't you just do something so I won't have to worry about this anymore." I guess that's where the faith comes in.
Good luck in getting the fishy smell out of the costume.

MMm&m said...

oh erin.....

aTXtumbleweed said...

Lucky You!! To have a friend that you could make that kind of call to.....I can't think of one "friend" or realitive for that matter....Glad it all worked out! Try not to stress out about the house...I had the same problem when I moved last time...the house sold After I moved out...and pretty quickly.

Jaime said...

i will say it again. I admire your unabashed sense of humor!

Teresa Dawn said...

I hope your friend Laura lives close by haha! Too funny about the costume smelling like fish... gotta wonder what they were thinking.

Anonymous said...

Poo at someone else's house? what?! Didn't you meet my husband under similar circumstances? You could've gone to Wal-mart. :) Miss you!

Love,
Lisa

Christina said...

I'm laughing out loud, so apparently it's not too much, yet.
Yuck about the fishy costume! You are so sweet to keep it. My daughters would have been crying a river as I packed the thing up and sent it back to the river from whence it came.
Back to the end of your post...believe me when I say, I know what it's like to have a good friend, or four. :)

Gassid Boys said...

Erin, you crack me up!! I needed a good laugh tonight!!

The Passionate Housewife said...

LOl!! Thanks for the laugh today!!

I suffer from the same "stomach issues"...it never fails, EVERY time we are somewhere where it would be MOST embarassing or completely inconvenient I have the "nervous rumblings."

When we were house "looking" I had to do the deed at most every place we toured...I am sure they appreciated my parting gift.

"Ya, I don't like your house so I left you a little present!"

Our poor realtor, I could never look him in the eyes! lol!

Erin said...

Well, at least you had a showing!