Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Can I get you some garlic wine to wash down your prozac?

My dear friend Jen, who at the moment is flying with her two wild and crazy boys from Korea to the U.S., suggested (among other things) that I write about why I refuse to get my children a dog.

I was fully prepared to address this question in paragraph form, including many descriptives such as
- hairy
- slobbery
- poopy
- hungry
- smelly
- expensive
- etc.

And then I was going to link to this post about Pat the Bunny's furry friend, Gracie Doggie.

But then, when I was browsing my Facebook newsfeed earlier, I came across this status entry from a Facebook friend and realized that I no longer feel the need to defend my dogless living:

Anyone have a dog w/ anxiety issues that manifest as skin problems? I'm starting to think Bailey's skin issues might be anxiety driven but was wondering if anyone out there might have had a similar issue and wouldn't mind sharing their stories/thoughts.

6 people replied to that status.
Here are some snippets of what they had to say:

"I had a dog that his anxiety problems manifested into a licking problem... It was gross!"

"He licks, too. But scratches so bad he's bleeding in spots. We've tried allergy meds but they don't seem to be making any difference."

"...dog used to have those problems - they did end up giving him anti-anxiety meds, prozac maybe?"

"...not a dog, but i had a kitty on prozac..."

"We used to make a garlic wine. A clove of garlic in a gallon of water. Let it sit for a couple days and pour a little over food and make a gravy. Really good for blood and skin. Don't let him breathe on you though."

"...had to put him on food that contains no wheat or corn..."

"...give him a tablespoon of fish oil on his food twice a day. Bathe him in an anti bacterial shampoo 1/wk."

Safe to say that our family will not be adopting a four legged pal.

ps- Derek, if you're reading this, don't think that we don't want you just because you require a special diet, have some skin issues, and need allergy medicine occasionally.
But if you start bleeding on the carpet, needing your food soaked in garlic wine, and requesting prozac, I may send you to live on a nice farm with lots of room to run.

So there you have it Jen.
I hope you survive the flight! And have a happy reunion with those little furballs you love.


Dressed-Up Dots said...

i'm glad i'm not the only one who doesn't want a dog.....thought there was something wrong with me for a while there.

oh wait.....that's not necessarily resolved just because someone else doesn't want a dog.

oh dear.

Erin said...

I'm pretty sure my husband is going to copy and laminate this for when our kids REALLY start bugging us about getting a pet.

Mish said...

Totally right there with you. I only want a dog when Rod's deployed. Now we have a kid on the way, so I imagine that might be just as entertaining.

Anonymous said...

1) We have a dog. The worst part is when the kids want to play outside, I have to pick up dog poo.
2) I like that your husband comments on your posts.
3) What's that?! Did Taylor click on a link.
Yes, Taylor did.

Jen McD said...

You're the funniest person I know! We survived the flight and the puppy reunion almost made me tear up! I thought of a new blog topic for you too: the grossest mothering thing you ever had to do. Mine was yesterday.

Ps. Tell you FB friend to get her dogs teeth cleaned. Mickey's skin cleared up and has never come back ;-)

NF - C&T said...

I love my pets ... they are welcoming and love to see me. enough said :-)

Christina said...

Aaaack! I didn't really need any other reasons never to have a dog or any other animal in our house (butt rings that they leave on the floor, for instance?). That is just yuck. So, I'm with you on that.