Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Another Dysfunctional Family Member

This is Grace.

She joins a long line of dogs that have belonged to my husband's family that are just not quite right.

The first Schore dog that I was introduced to was Koko. She was Josh's dog, and she hated me. I'm not kidding, she hated me. When I came to visit, she would get so mad that she'd pee in the house. Josh would pick me up on purpose because it made her bark like crazy at me. She saw me as a threat.

She was right.

Not sure if Josh was originally planning to take her with him when he left for his first Air Force tour, but I'm pretty sure I made it clear from the beginning that it wasn't an option. No angry, incontinent beagle was going to be howling around my house. Not to mention the fact that she would get "stuck" in various rooms in the house because she was afraid to walk out of any doorway unless it was opened to a 60 degree angle or more. The dog had issues.

Is it wrong to talk of the deceased this way?

Back to Gracie Doggie. She's probably not my biggest fan either, because as you can tell from the picture, her reign of terror over the house has been given limitations. The basement is now her domain. Why? Because the dog chews up everything she finds, and was born with pogo sticks for legs.

Let me give you an idea of how she was trained.

Scene 1:

Grace, the puppy, grabs a shoe that she's not supposed to have and takes off running with it.

Pat the Bunny realizes the futility of trying to catch the lightening bolt that is Gracie Doggie, so she grabs a bacon treat for her.

She throws the treat to Grace, and grabs for the shoe while Grace eats the treat.

Grace bounces off, excited to figure out a new way to get treats.

Also of note, though Grace is not allowed to chew shoes, she was given a few of her shoe casualties to have as her toys.

Note to self, Pat the Bunny is no dog whisperer.

I'm not sure where I was really going with this post, but I've managed to poke a little fun of PtB, so I'd say my work here is done.

I think I should go monitor my children, they like to give Gracie treats a little too much. I'm afraid she might not be able to climb out of the basement by the time we leave here.


Jen McD said...

Grace is cute! And Derek loves her. I think you should embrace your dog fears and get a puppy. Or just have another baby already.

I love planning out your life! All good friends do it.

Sunk Costs said...

Yes, yes it does. Perhaps you and Pat can join a league. Or will that conflict with your Bingo night?

Joshua said...

Yet another masterpiece. Laughing out loud at our post has replaced laughing at the tc (since of course that doesn't exist here). You have now captured the essence of my mom's dog training (and believe it or not people, her child training techniques).

Annie Pennington said...

I ADORE your blog posts, they are always so entertaining. They have become something I look forward to sharing with David at the end of the day - seriously. This is better than TV for me!