Do you know that feeling when you think you have everything under control until it's 4 days before you move across the country and you realize that having things under control is just a mirage in a desert of things to do as numerous as the grains of sand in that very desert and the desert is as far and long as this run-on sentence?
I have many things to tell you.
Many insignificant things.
And since time is not my friend, I will revert back to my beloved bullet point format for ease and efficiency.
-- Yesterday was Father's Day.
We took the kids to see Toy Story 3. This is the second movie they've seen in a theater.
Because as you may know, it costs quite a bit to see movies these days.
And because I feel that movies are overpriced, I didn't even feel bad that when we entered the theater yesterday, my fake Coach bag from Korea was housing:
1 bag, family size- tootsie roll midgies
1 box- junior mints
1 box- cookie dough bites
1 box, large- rainbow nerds
1 bag, family size- red vines
2 cans- Diet A&W rootbeer
2 pouches- tropical punch capri sun
I think it's important that I identified the soda as being "diet," don't you think?
I'm sure it will make a difference considering it's fellow purse-dwelling contents.
The kids loved the movie, and Derek sat on the edge of the seat the entire time.
Mostly because if he leaned back, the seat would fold up and envelop him.
It's rough being 2.
-- After the movie, we did some shopping and let the sugar high wear down. Then we ate at The Olive Garden.
Josh, being the almost-sole consumer of the junior mints, red vines, and cookie dough bites, decided he would like to eat a little lighter for dinner.
But did you know that the same unlimited soup and salad that is available at lunchtime for $6-ish, costs $9.95 at dinner?
So here's a little insight into how the Schore minds work:
Josh-- Do you think that's too pricey for soup and salad?
Erin-- Good question. Well, for one dollar more, you can order this yummy looking special, which comes with salad and breadsticks. Then you can just eat all the salad you want and get a to-go box for the meal. That way I won't have to cook for you tomorrow.
Josh-- And that is why I married you. (or something like that)
-- We were seated at a booth at The Olive Garden. I used to prefer booths, as I feel they are a more squishy seated, comfortable alternative to the traditional wooden chair.
However, in recent years, my appreciation of the booth has declined. For I find that I am forced to sit next to at least one of my offspring, and they have this annoying need to be all up in my personal space while I'm eating. Greasy hands want to touch me. Little feet kick me. Spaghetti noodles are slurped within spraying distance of my face.
And so we have invented "The Wall." It is an imaginary wall that is built between me and my booth-mate. It goes up the second that food arrives at the table, and does not come down until I say so.
Crossing the wall will result in loss of life, limb, or that chocolate mint that comes with the check.
I love The Wall.
-- I have made many a list in the recent days. I think I may even have made a list of lists that I needed to make. One such list includes things that I should try to get accomplished during the hours we will spend in the van.
Topping that list: Reintroduce the tweezers to those two caterpillars that live above my eyes.
I'm open to any other suggestions you may have.
-- Since we have signed the contract with the person who will be renting our house, we have gotten 2 calls from realtors who have wanted to show the house.
-- Approximately 5 years, 1 month, and 2 days ago, I gave birth to a baby girl. We named her Alexandra. I gained over 40 pounds during her pregnancy.
We brought her home from the hospital and I proceeded to cry about pretty much everything, especially those 40 pounds.
I think I had some postpartum blues.
And a french fry addiction.
I had never been much of a crier up until that point. And definitely not a cry-in-front-of-other-people kind of crier.
But something strange has occurred in the 5 years since then-- I cry way more often and more easily than ever before. Touching movie? Yep. Sad book? Uh-huh. Tragedy in the news? Bring on the tissues.
Move away from great friends? Fuhgeddaboudit.
I think something broke in me and I've turned into someone with feelings and emotions.
Fact: There was a scene in Toy Story 3 in which the mother is standing in her son's room as he gets ready to leave for college. She is crying.
And so was I.
And so, in order to preserve my reputation as a mean jerk, I am going to slip out of town this weekend without saying goodbye to anyone. I will say a casual goodbye to a few friends, and then tell them that I will be by on Saturday morning for the more formal adieus.
Then I will high-tail it out of town.
I promise it will be better for all involved.
No one wants to see me blubber.
It's not pretty.
-- I think I had more irrelevant factoids for you, but I must go to bed.