When contemplating my arrival home, I had an image of me breezing through the door, getting the house in order, and spending lazy evenings in my garden tub with a good book.
Erin Schore, Reality is calling, would you please pick up?
Somehow I forgot that the real world might interrupt my plans for a quick and easy move home. Things like preschool, gym time, oil changes, laundry, checkbook balancing, contemplating Simon Cowell's retreat from Idol, and life in general.
This afternoon, I found that I had so much to do that I wasn't sure where to start. So I did the only logical thing-- I took my vacuum apart and cleaned the filters.
Obviously a very important step, because you see, one day soon I might have all of the crap off of the floor and will need a finely tuned vacuum to sweep up when I'm done. Makes perfect sense.
You can safely walk through the hallway now if you stay to the left, and the kids' clothes are all put away.
My bedroom carpet, however, is barely visible thanks to the piles of my clothes that are all over the place. The suitcase full of Christmas toys hasn't been unloaded yet, because I haven't found the time to go through the toybox and clear some room for the new ones.
My loyal minivan, which started right up for me, is sounding alarms that an oil change is necessary. Like yesterday.
My fridge is still bare, and I need to make an extensive grocery list before going to bed tonight.
I resorted to some drive-thru's for dinner. Subway for me with lots of extra onions, since I have no hubby here to offend. And McDonald's for the kids.
Here is Derek eating his double hamburger. He eats only the patties, no bun.
I actually didn't know that they had a double hamburger on the menu, but I saw McDouble on there today and I asked if that was perchance a double hamburger.
I was informed that no, a McDouble is a double cheesburger with only one slice of cheese.
So I asked if I could have a McDouble with no cheese.
There was an awkward pause before the server said "Um, would you like to just order a double hamburger?"
Well yes. Yes I would. And if I had known that was a possibility I would have started there.
Next time I think I'll order a double cheesburger, hold the cheese.
Or maybe I'll cut straight to the point-- "I'd like 2 plain hamburger patties, no bun."
Just toss me some meat, dang it. My kid's weird and allergic to cheese.
No wonder I can't remember anything anymore, in addition to the oodles of 90's rap music that remains trapped in my brain, is a list of all the fast food menu items that don't contain milk, eggs, or peanuts.
Did you know that if you are allergic to those things, that Burger King fries are fine, but McD's fries are a no-no? Or that BK chicken fries are okay, but no nuggets from any of the chains.
The list goes on, but I will spare you all the details.
Don't say you never learned anything here.
So I guess I should go tackle a few more things from the 'ol to-do list.
Or I could write an even better, more extensive list.
Have I mentioned before that I really enjoy list making? I'm just not good at the carrying out of list activities.
But oh, how I love to cross things off of my list. As a matter of fact, sometimes I add things to my daily list that I have already completed, just so I can cross it off.
It makes me feel good inside.
Do you think that's okay, or should I consider counseling?
Don't answer that.