1) I've had a nagging cough for over a week now.
It's not just any cough.
No, this is the cough of a heavy smoker with bronchitis.
I may even have tuberculosis, though it has not been confirmed.
The good news: The constant coughing is helping my Ab Revolution Resolution. Who knew?
The bad news: My bladder. She's not what she used to be.
At Bible study this morning I drank a bottle of water, a cup of tea, and a cup of coffee.
Then I drove to pick Alex up from school.
Then I had a coughing spasm.
Then I thought that if they were to market a Depends-like product to women who have borne children, had full bladders, and body-racking coughs, I might be interested in purchasing them.
Just a thought.
2) Dear Makers of Ring-Pops,
I don't like your product. They are sticky, awkward to eat, and a big pain in my rear.
Incontinent in Idaho.
Alex asked if she could eat one piece of Valentine's Day candy before quiet time. I agreed. She chose a ring pop.
A blue ring pop no less.
One hour later, she was still sucking on that thing.
Her mouth may be permanently discolored, and that's 30 minutes of quiet time I'm never getting back.
3) This is a cat licking it's private regions:
This is not my cat, though it is my backyard. I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm the kind of person who would see a stray cat doing unmentionable things in my backyard, take a picture of it, and then mention it to you.
That concludes this episode of Three Things Thursday: Wednesday Edition.
Tune in next week for Four Things Friday: Monday Edition.