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Monday, February 22, 2010

Surprise!

Ha! I bet for half a second I just made some of you think that we either:

A) Found out our assignment
or
B) Are pregnant

I can assure you that neither of those things is true.
Though one of them would be nice.
And not the one that will wake us up in the middle of the night.

No, this surprise is much better, it's a...

Dollar Store grab bag!

Eh?

Several months ago I was in the dollar store.
Don't make fun of me, other than Walmart, it's the only store in town.
I purchase all of my latest fashions there.
Well, maybe not. But they do have an exciting assortment of coloring books.
Anyway, as I was checking out the clerk asked if I'd like to donate a food item to the local pantry. I said sure, and they grabbed an item from the end of the register, put it into the collection bin, I paid my dollar, end of story.
So fast forward to a few weeks ago when I needed some fancy lingerie for Valentine's Day, and I found myself back at the dollar store.
As I was checking out, the clerk asked if I'd like a child's grab bag. She said it contained store items that had come out of their packaging or something.
I wasn't really listening, I was trying to keep Derek away from the candy dispensers in case he started messing with the ones that held the reese's peices and had an allergic reaction.
I misunderstood. I thought the grab bag was to donate to needy kids.
I was wrong. The grab bag came home with me.
Or should I say, the grab bag was left forgotten in the van until a few days ago.
Curiousity got the best of me and I opened up that little bag to see what manner of goodies it might hold.

Try to contain your excitement. Here it is:


What do we have here?

A shiny...thing.

No idea what it is, or was. It seems to serve no purpose. It might be a broken kaleidoscope, or maybe a lipstick holder without the lipstick.

Here we have three crayons.


The most promising thing yet-- a film camera made from the finest plastic.
 

And, one white adult shoelace. 

 

Boy did they outdo themselves putting this bag together.
I'm glad it wasn't a donation, I'd be embarrassed to have been the giver of this gift.

So Surprise! It's Monday! We don't know our assignment yet! We're not having any more babies! It's 3pm and I haven't showered! It's cold outside but I'm making Josh grill steaks when he gets home tonight at 7pm! Because I want some zip sauce! If you haven't had zip sauce you haven't lived! Everything can be made fun and exciting with an exclamation point!

Except that grab bag. Nothing could have made that exciting.

Later,
Surprising in Idaho


p.s. Yes, I was kidding about the lingerie. I stick strictly to second-hand stores for items that are worn next to my most private regions.

p.p.s. I couldn't even type that last line without getting the heebiegeebies.

6 comments:

mikeandmelissafisher said...

So, essentially they are handing out bags for kids that include materials to hang themselves, choke themselves, color themselves, and take pictures of everything.

Scary.

The p.s. was disgusting and it DID give me the heebiegeebies.

The Passionate Housewife said...

Dollar store lingerie...can you imagine?? Actually, I'd rather not.

I can only guess at tradesmans reaction if I excitedly held up the "Dollarama" bag exclaiming I had bought something special to wear Valentines day.
I can almost see his mind swimming with the possibilities...saran wrap??

Laanykidsmom said...

I have gotten some good deals at dollar stores, stocking stuffers, etc., but that grab bag takes the cake. That had to be a joke. Yes, it is a good thing you weren't giving that away! I guess you basically just gave a dollar away. Oh well!

Jen McD said...

I've always wondered what was in those bags! Thanks for saving me a buck.

ps - I'm reading all over FB that assignments are out. We don't have ours, but somebody somewhere knows!

Erin said...

I'd say the shiny thing is a noise maker.

Rachel said...

I'm not sure what that brass thing is but why does it look like a shotgun shell? I'm afraid.