Turd in the Tub

That's a great title, don't you think?
Or am I giving away the surprise ending?

So bath-time tonight was a real hoot. I filled the tub up for the kids and threw 'em in.
Try not to be too surprised by this next statement.

I hadn't yet taken my shower for the day.

Shock. Gasp. I know.

So I decided I would jump in the shower while they were having fun playing toys in the tub. (We have a separate shower stall.)
But first, I wanted to get them washed so I jumped in the bathtub with them. (We have a big soaker tub. I will miss my bathroom more than anything else in the house.)
They think it is a great treat when Mommy gets in the bath with them. I haven't done it in awhile. Not since Derek pointed at me and asked "Mommy yous got hair on your butt?"

He was not pointing to my butt.

Moving on.
I washed them up, and thankfully got out of the tub and into the shower before disaster struck.
I took a fairly long shower. And a hot one. I pretty much stayed in until the hot water wasn't plentiful anymore.
About that time, Alex says that she needs to poop.
I tell her I'm coming to get her out.
Twenty seconds later she says "Derek pooped in the tub, Mommy!"
Suspicious, I say.
But I asked Derek, and he admitted that yes, he pooped in the tub.
I'm not buying it. That boy will say anything.

Then comes the yelling and complaining when I pull 2 wet kids out of the tub, curse under my breath as to why we have 101 toys floating amongst the poop specks, and wonder what I'm going to do about rinsing off said kids when the hot water has been used up.

I get it under control. Don't ask me how, because I went to a happy place for that 10 minutes of my life in which my children and I were naked, wet, and cold. I don't remember much.

Though I do remember that one of my children had some evidence stuck between her...cheeks, and that I had to have a discussion about lying about poop production.

Fast forward to post-pajamas, Alex comes into Derek's room as I'm dressing him and says "Mommy, can you not tell Daddy that someone pooped in the tub tonight?

Someone? Still having ownership issues apparently.
Own your poop Alex.
Own it.

Me: Why Alex?
Alex: Because Daddy says it's not nice to talk about poop when you're not in the bathroom.

Touche. Daddy does say that potty talk isn't nice when it's not relevant to actual potty needs.
So I wont tell him.
I'll let him read it here.

Bet you're glad you missed that one Josh. And I'm glad that I was out of the tub when it happened.
And now I'm off to clean 101 toys.

And then.

ishallwatchthefinalroseceremonyandseewhohepicksitbetternotbevienna.
thankyouverymuch.