Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Preschool Angst

Did you even think it was possible? I certainly didn't. But if the drama coming from my 4 year old is any indicator of what high school will be like, I think I might just need to freeze time now.

When I picked Alex up from preschool today she was standing on the playground looking forlorn. I had just watched her try to get the attention of a little girl who ignored her and grabbed the arm of another friend and ran away.

My heart broke a little.

When she saw me the tears came slipping down her face and she told me "Lily said she isn't my friend anymore because I was swinging with Sophia and Lily didn't want me to swing with Sophia because Sophia said that Lily is not her friend."

So I said to Alex what any good mother would: "Did you know that you just used a run-on sentence?"

Her whole life is a run-on sentence so I certainly didn't pick that moment to discuss it.
But really, there were just too many things to be addressed about the scenario for that moment, so I picked her up and told her I loved her, and asked if she wanted a piece of candy in the car.

I think I missed my calling to be a therapist, don't you?

Look at that sweet face.

I'll be your friend Alex!
But first we need to have a talk today about how to be a good friend, and lessons we can learn from hurt feelings.

Don't you hate seeing your kids get hurt?

Or lost in a coat?

Or making a mess with a ring pop?

Or refusing to play soccer?

Or sticking their butt out at the sprinkler?

Yeah. Me too.


thelumberjackswife said...

OH, I hate when that kind of stuff happens to my girls. I am afraid it continues on, at least it has with my kids. :( Kids are mean to each other.

Oh, and btw, I fear we can no longer be friends because you were lame and didn't play my game. You did not ask me a question.


I bet you participate in other bloggers questions and such.

Are you not my friend anymore?

melicity said...

I wish so badly that I could tell you thatit would get better. I work with Middle and High school students and deal with this on a day to day basis. Candy can solve a multitude of boo-boos, though. Especially if it is chocolate. :)

Karen said...

Ok, Lumberjackswife and Erin. No more being mean to each other--go eat a piece of candy!

Grandma said...

Children are mean. It is a part of their learning curve; part of becoming who they will be. Unfortunately, others are hurt along the way. It's inevitable. It happens to all.

What gets our kids through it with as few tears as possible is strong, consistent, family time every evening at home. Whether its playing at the park together, watching a show together, making a craft together, doing homework together, playing a card game together, or reading a book together, these family times every evening provide a safe place for children, away from others, to distract them from the hurts of the day. Its a time they can count on to be part of people who love them unconditionaly.

I will not worry about my baby girl (or my baby boy). I probably don't tell you enough, but I thank God every night as I go to bed for the wonderful mother he has given my Grandchildren. (and I suppose for their wonderful father also). Thank you, Erin.

I'm Erin. said...

Aww shucks PtB, you made me tear up a little.

But if you think I will be taking it easy on you on the ole blog, well, sorry. ;)
*evil cackle*
I can always send Alex your way. Nothing like having her every whim catered to to build her self esteem, right?

And Karen, you called me out. I'll make up with LJW post haste. ;)

Jennifer said...

I'm loving PtB right now... Such a wonderful thing to say! And I know that she's right, too!

Kids can be so mean... People can be so mean... I've already had this discussion with Kaci about how kids are going to be mean to her. Why can't we all just slide down rainbows and chase butterflies? I don't know... Give that sweet girl big hugs and teach her how to say, "Back off" in French. ;)

Jen McD said...

PTB is very nice. She's a wise woman and family time makes perfect sense. You are a good mommy - make that a GREAT mommy if you carry candy for times like these. If you shared NERDS with her, you're hanging amongst the stars!

Laanykidsmom said...

It is so difficult when our kids get their feelings hurt (and girls are the worst!). I do believe candy can cover a multitude of hurts! With one girl in 4th grade and another in 1st, all I can say is we have to be in it for the long haul. I think my 1st grader has already learned the boys in her class are more fun!

The Taylor's said...

O man... I hoped they grew out of it but I guess they dont... Abbey (2years old) decided her and Dylan could not be friends because Dylan tooted at the lunch table and well that was just gross AND he still pottys in his pants like a baby ALL the time (she still has accidents)I tried to tell her that was mean and she looked at me and said ok then I am just a mean girl... LARGE SIGH

Mindee@ourfrontdoor said...

Oh I hate those moments. Not only do you hurt for your child, but all your own painful childhood memories come rushing back too. :(

Rachel said...

I think what everyone has failed to see is that Lily is crazy. Clearly. Alex is sweet and wonderful and who wouldn't want to be friends with her forever!! Of course, they are probably friends again already. I hate that stuff too. It makes me feel torn up for days and they are over it in seconds. Candy! You are great!

Joyce said...

With girls rest assured there will be more drama in your future.

Actually I think a piece of candy in the car is sometimes the best solution. Because tomorrow your little cutie might be in and Lily/Sophia will be on the outs. Such is the way of the playground.

Have a nice weekend!