Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Day 1

It's official.
And it officially stinks.

Josh flew out this morning.

I'm hoping that homeschooling, traveling, and the holidays will make the time fly until we get him back.

Monday night the kids helped Josh make the final preparations.

I'm not sure why the guys all feel it necessary to shave their heads and grow a mustache when they deploy.

Or in my husband's case, a pedostache.
(Also known as Chester)

But in any case, we have an agreement that hair on the head will be regrown and hair on the upper lip removed prior to our reunion.

So. Last night.
Josh had to take a sleeping pill and be in bed in the early evening to be ready for a 3am showtime.

This of course meant that I would be putting the kids to bed on my own.
No problem, I do it all the time.

Plus, if I were rusty at all, it would be a good time to get into a rhythm.
Unless they figure out how to put themselves to bed in the very near future, I'm kind of stuck with it for the next 180-ish nights.

But it turned out to be far more difficult than I could have imagined.
Derek went down easily like he always does.

But my poor baby girl. She laid in bed and just sobbed. She didn't want her daddy to leave and there wasn't a thing I could do for her.
I held her and let her cry.
Cried with her.

It was just one of those moments as a parent when you just don't know the right thing to do or say.

She wanted nothing to do with the reasons and justifications of why he must go.
And that's okay. At age six you can afford to be a little selfish from time to time.

The storm eventually passed and I know that we will get into a routine and she will be fine in the months to come. It was just a rough moment, and I'm glad for his sake that Josh was asleep.

This morning we all dragged out of bed and were out the door by 0250.
Mama no like.

When we got to the squadron we prayed together in the back of the van and had our more extended goodbyes.

Then Josh went in to brief for the flight.
We got one last hug as he was stepping to the jet.

Mmmm. I think I've made it clear that my man in a flight suit just does something for me.
But add a G-suit and harness, and, well...
I'm thinking I need to channel that energy elsewhere for the next 6 months.
Quick, Josh! Grow the mustache! The feelings will dissipate.

Then the families jumped on a crew bus and headed to the end of the runway to watch the jets take off.

Here is Josh's jet in the chalks.

There he goes! (That's him in the front seat.)

And here's a poor quality video of his takeoff, which resembles more of a ball of light going up into the sky.

It was around 6am when we got home, so we all headed back to bed for a few more hours of sleep.
I plan to indulge in a day or two of moping before moving on.

He has shoes in the shoe bin and clothes in the laundry. Once I clean his sink, it will be clean for a long time. Reminders everywhere that part of our family is missing.
But I am so thankful for the internet and the ability to communicate in a way that was unheard of in years past. I'm not sure exactly when we'll hear from him, but once he gets settled we should be able to Skype.

I joked before he left that the day he flew out I would indulge in a whole container of Oreo cookies-- eating just the "stuff", because that's the best part.
So as he was stepping to the jet, my thoughtful husband handed me this baggie.

Love him! He did all the work :)

Thank you all for your kind words and well wishes on my last post, and leading up to this deployment! It really means a lot to have your support and prayers. Thanks for walking this road alongside me.

If anyone is interested in sending Josh a note in the mail, just let me know at eschore@hotmail.com and I will get you his deployed address.

Also, I will do my best to bring back the happy because this place has been crazy depressing as of late. ;)


Anonymous said...

Can't help but weep reading this post. It's all very familiar. You put all my feelings into words. You have an amazing family! Thanks for the post, I can always count on a giggle and tender family moments. Hang in there! Love ya!
Lisa H.

Proverbs 31 Wannabe said...

Erin, I am crying as I read this post. If I was on the edge already, the baggie of oreo creme did me in! Crying for you as the Mommy who wants to be there and strong for your kids but I know it is so hard on you...and crying for your sweet kiddos who I know are missing their Daddy already. Prayers and hugs coming your way.

Bobbi said...

You are funny even amid the crazy depressing. So thankful for men like your husband! Praying...

Katie Craft said...

Oh my gosh! I don't even really "know" you, but this post just breaks my heart for you (and the kiddos!) The baggie of oreos sent my tears spilling. It is hard to miss someone, but God willing, he will come back to you safe and sound! I love your posts, by the way, and I hope that your silly sarcasm comes back soon! :)

Anonymous said...

WOW!! What a post. I am in awe of Josh and your family.......(times ALL of our military and their families). What a tremendous sacrifice.

I so love to read the 'love' in all that you write.....for the Lord, your sweet husband and your precious children.

You have many praying for you and yours!!

Anna from NC

Katie said...

You don't even have to ask if this pregnant momma was crying. I have felt sick to my stomach since I heard them take off earlly this morning (one of my many trips to the bathroom). Love you tons Erin and looking forward to trying to distract you. I am trying to tell Camille to come now to get your mind off it, but she isn't cooperating...

Joyce said...

Oh the oreos would have put me right over the edge. I sent you an email.

Me and Mr. Wright said...

I too, am crying as I read your post. Hits close to home. Thanks goodness, indeed, for skype and email.

Good luck in your upcoming months as a "single parent" I am praying for your strength to get through the days and months without your other half. Also praying for all of the guys in Josh's unit to do their duty as safe as possible.


Keep your head up! :)

Laurel said...

would you please go back to being sarcastic?! I don't like to cry. You guys are in our prayers. If you get bored feel free to catch a hop and come visit Ü

Sandy said...

who would have thought that a baggie of oreo middles would send so many women into a crying jag?

how you women can keep it together for the sake of your kids astounds me!

was josh wearing a straight-jacket during that buzz cut? it might come in handy for you later =o)

Erin said...

Bummer that Day 1 is here. Hopefully yours went better than ours (invading ants when we returned for breakfast and puking child at night)!!

It's really only 180 days? J has travel to and from time added on. Only time in country starting at a predetermined time started the clock. But, at least they are not up to a year yet - right?

Praying, praying, praying as you adjust to new routines and rhythms. And thank you for reminding me to get all of J's shoes out of the closet when we get back!

Beth Lewis said...

Well, Erin, I am a weepy mess. That dang bag of Oreos put me over the edge, too.
Prayers for your family as you start this difficult yet necessary stage of life.
It sounds so trite, but I truly do appreciate the sacrifices you & all military families make for our country.
God bless,
Beth (Amy Rogers' sister)

Brenda said...

I can't even imagine. You had a wonderful send off for him and the oreo middles is so romantic!!

Mish said...

Twice this week I've teared up at your blog!!

Jamie said...

MANY prayers for you, Josh, Alex, & Derek during this time. What a beautiful family-- inside and out! Thank you for sharing from your heart, Erin...the laughter and the tears. God bless you guys!! Love and hugs-- Jamie

Anonymous said...

Crying over your family's situation and Oreo fillings. Only Josh would be so meticulous and thoughtful for your parting gift. I'm imagining him sitting there twisting each one for you. He's a good egg.

Love you all! Send us his address

Jen McD

Christina said...

Depressing, no. Bittersweet, precious, tender, vulnerable...yes. Thank you for sharing such intimate and dear details of your life. I pray that the time does fly by. If you need a good distraction you are welcome here any time. :)

Taylor said...

Oh boo. It really happened. Loved the oreos!

Jennifer said...

I'm sorry Erin... I know how hard it is. And Kaci and Alex are the same age so it's hard for them. We had a really rough first few days. Alex is lucky to have you for her mommy :) Be strong for her. Sending hugs! And remember it's always ok to add a road trip to the desert!

Meesh said...

I too, join the other readers who cried reading this little piece of your story. What a great dad and husband you have and what a wonderful mom, supporter, cheerleader and wife you are. I wish you knew just how much your blog means to me...I look forward to reading it every time you post (and yes, I check it daily). In my thoughts and prayers until he's home safe again, Michelle

Laanykidsmom said...

Thanks for making me cry at 5:30 in the morning. Prayers for you and your family...and hoping 180 days goes very fast!

Nicole said...

Oy vey. Here already? I'll be lifting your spirits up in prayer and Josh's too b/c no doubt he's dearly missing his 3 favorite people.

Emily said...

You are all so incredibly brave. I found your blog via The Lumberjack's Wife and have been following with tears and smiles ever since. Will definitely be praying for strength and peace for you and your babies and safety for your husband! I'm thankful to him and your family for serving our country.

Jennifer said...

Okay I'm laughing and crying sad tears in the same 5 minutes time-span. Chester the Molester-stache... you are CRAZY! :)

I have never met your kids in person, but my heart broke to hear how upset Alex is about her daddy leaving. I can't imagine how much more seeing her upset hurts you. Praying for y'all...