Saturday, January 8, 2011

Saturday Morning Nonsense

The title of may last post was Pointless Drivel.
I wonder how many of you were thinking, "and how does that differentiate this post from all the others?"
Because, well, it's pretty much all pointless drivel.

But that's okay!



Question-- Why does my Saturday morning begin at the discretion of the youngest member of our family? What happened to seniority? I'm ten times his age, and yet when he starts calling out "I'm not sweepy anymore" then I can kiss my bed goodbye.
It doesn't seem quite right.

Little known fact-- I can play a little guitar. (Key word, little)
I haven't played in years, because the urchins took over my life.
My grandfather has been downsizing and wanted me to have one of his guitars, a nice acoustic. My dad brought it down with him when he came, and so I've been playing a little and trying to build up some callouses on my fingertips.
It's kind of like the first few days of breastfeeding. You have to suck it up (pardon the pun) and let that kid eat before you get accustomed to it and it's not painful anymore.

Keep reading my blog in the future for more nipple toughening comparisons.

Three weeks from now I will be lounging eating on a cruise ship.

Wait a minute.
That means three weeks from now I'm supposed to don a bathing suit.

Stop the presses!
Oh the whiteness.
Oh the hairiness.
Oh the chubbiness.

I need a plan.
Step 1) Locate a razor that's up to the task. Begin to use it.
Step 2) Find sunglasses. Wear them on the ship so that the white glare from my legs doesn't cause blindness.
Step 3) Lose 5 pounds in three weeks.

Alex mentioned yesterday that Jason in her class "got sick at school and threw up RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY, MOM!"
I think my best bet at losing 5 lbs in 3 weeks would be to go to Jason's house and share utensils with him.

But my puke-phobia won't allow it.
I'll have to come up with a plan B.
Maybe something like watching what I eat.

We should have chosen an Alaskan cruise.


Sally said...

Awesomeness... we are planning a Hawaii trip for when D gets back from Afghanistan... 9 months from now... and I'm already panicking! (Though I will admit, I got a 14 hour stomach bug a few weeks ago and lost 10 pounds! Not exactly how I would recommend it, but stepping on that scale almost made it worth it... almost...) You crack me up though, lady... and I love reading your blog! Have a great day my friend!

Heather and Scott said...

Shaving is a must, especially if a swimsuit will be worn. Do you think it will be warm enough in early Feb? Have you started making your packing list yet?

And I had no idea you knew how to play the guitar! I see a new hobby in the works for you...and maybe you should bring the guitar on the cruise so you can sing me to sleep. :)

Anonymous said...

Don't know if this would work for you, but my nephew (2 1/2) has an alarm clock that lights up after the time it is set for. If he wakes up before then he knows he can play or look at books in his room and after the light goes on he can leave his room. Although they set it for 7am, which is early for a weekend!