Sunday, January 9, 2011

Fuzzy Math & Potty Breaks

Good news! I used some fuzzy math in my last post about the upcoming cruise.

It's actually more like four weeks from now than three, and in honor of that I've been eating icing by the spoonfuls out of the fridge.
I can worry about losing 5-pounds-in-three-weeks starting next week.

I always make perfect sense, don't I?

Today after church we stopped in at The Walmarts because I needed a thing or two, and it's on the way home.
(Does anyone else feel the need to make excuses for why they went to The Walmarts, or is it just me?)

Anyway, Derek was in rare form. He was hungry and tired and being a general cranky-pants. He didn't want to ride in the cart, and he didn't want to walk. So Daddy offered to carry him.
Alex and I start walking off, and when I turned to tell Josh the things that we needed to grab, he was not with me.
He was still just inside the busy doorway...sinking slowly to his knees.

I've never seen my husband crawl in public, until today.
Turns out that Derek accidentally kicked him in the testicular area.

I'm not sure I'll ever understand those mysterious man parts.
I don't think there is any area on my body that you could kick hard enough to make me get on the ground in The Walmarts.

Don't worry, Josh is recovering well.

Speaking of man parts-- this just in: As I was typing, I heard Derek crying out from bed. He's been asleep for hours now, but he'll occasionally wake up because he needs a tissue, or his blankets have fallen off, or because he's lost one of those dang aminals.
However, he knows that if he wakes us up because he can't find an aminal, then he will not get his morning show. I refuse to get up at all hours of the night for so silly a reason.
So now he's getting crafty. He'll push his blankets off, call me in and say "I need my blankies. And I can't find Ellie." or "I need a tissue. Where's Doggie?"
But this time it was legitimate. I just went in to check on him and the conversation went like this:
Me: What's wrong buddy?
Derek: Mama my penis just needs to go potty.

So I took his penis potty.
The good news is that he's been dry at night for over a month now, so I guess that's one more milestone we've passed.
No more buying pull-ups and diapers at all anymore!
It makes me happy and sad all at the same time.

And now that I've talked about testicles and penises, I realize that it is 11:30pm and the alarms will be going off early, so I must retire.
I'm sure you're all thankful for that, lest I move onto some other obscure anatomy lesson.



Joyce said...

I use similar weight loss/dieting math : ) I wish I had a sunny getaway coming up in three/four weeks!

Me and Mr. Wright said...

Hahaha! You started my Monday morning off so great! Hope you are doing well, and as always, you make me laugh uncontrollably at work. Wait. I mean in my break time at work. :)

trooppetrie said...

too funny and sad all at the same time. I am glad he is okay. I think walmart puts something in the air to bring out the worse in us

The Main Family said...

I'm embarrassed that I think you're funny.

melicity said...

Just so you know, snorting hot coffee out of my nose hurts.

Your post was so funny today and just what I needed after a grueling 45 minute date with the elliptical machine.

I refuse to go to Wal-mart here because they are dirty and nasty. I'm all about the Target.

And I am jealous you are going on a cruise. ;P

Heather and Scott said...

Laughed out loud...AGAIN! I was thinking Josh was crawling because he was appeasing his son. But no, it was the dreaded kick. Scott got a slap there by one of the girls there the other night...much groaning insued.

Nicole said...

Your poor poor husband. I know it hurts them so much when that happens but man it really makes me laugh to think of him on his knees in Wal-mart.