Monday, January 17, 2011

Raising children is not for the weak

We've had a nice, low-key weekend around here.
With Josh away and the rain coming down, I couldn't think of one good reason to leave the house today.
So we didn't.

I began to regret that decision around 5:45, when the rugrats started to get a little stir-crazy. I just went with it and let them bounce off the walls until they got all of the energy out.
I am always surprised at how loud 2 children can be.

And so are the people who call me on the telephone.
They think they're interrupting some kind of children's party or playdate.
It's just that those two little boogers intensify their noise level upon hearing the phone ring. I'm not even sure they're aware of it.
It's some sort of subconscious act.

Or maybe they do know.
Maybe they find my antics amusing-- when I'm trying to silently give them the look. The one that screams, BE QUIET OR ELSE.
Once, by accident, I caught a glimpse of that look in the mirror.
It was like evil incarnate. I can't imagine why it doesn't work.

Then I find myself frantically miming to them what will happen if they don't leave me alone and go play quietly.
They look at me with a blank stare, as if they have no idea what I mean.
I mean, isn't the finger slicing across the throat a universal signal?

ha. kidding.

And then there are the times that the phone call is really important and I have to close the door to my bedroom, but they act as if they don't understand why, and begin to beat on it. So then I have to go inside my closet and close that door. And put my finger in my exposed ear. And wonder why I'm 31 years old and hiding in my closet.


Where was I?
Oh yes, our quiet weekend.

In keeping with my resolution to enjoy my children this year, I found that they actually made that quite easy to do this weekend.

Don't worry, it's not as if I didn't like them for the last 5 years.
It's just that there have been times when I have, let's see how to phrase this...affectionately tolerated them, because they stood in between me and whatever it was I was trying to accomplish at that moment.

I'm trying to change my outlook. They are what I'm trying to accomplish each day. Training them, loving them, feeding them, teaching them phone etiquette.
Then feeding them some more.
And again.
Until every dish and utensil in my house is dirty because they are insatiable.

Rats. I lost my train of thought again.
Oh yes, the kids were enjoyable this weekend.

For the most part, they got along well together. We read lots of books and sang and danced and just had a merry 'ol time.

And do you know what else?

They look even sweeter in pictures :)

Because you can't hear them.

Know what else?

I love 'em to pieces.


Proverbs 31 Wannabe said...

I know exactly what you mean about kids and the phone. I'm no sure why mine don't know that when I snap my fingers at them and point down the hall, they don't just go down the hall to their rooms. They follow me all around the house trying to talk to me. I think it's a kid thing. I remember when I was little, my sister and I would be fighting or wanting something from my mom while she was on the phone and we knew exactly how far the phone cord would reach and we'd stand just out of her reach...you know, like those Tom and Jerry cartoons with the dog on the leash? But once my mom snapped at us and pointed to the top of the fridge (where she kept the paddle) we knew we were toast when she got off the phone.

Anonymous said...

I have often thought God was rather mean because he didn't give moms magic little "mute" buttons. Or, I'd even settle for volume control...making the noise just a bit more tolerable, ya know?

Oh, and it is called phone-radar. When they hear you on the phone, their radar goes off, initiating an immediate loudness response from your children. Mine have it as well.

Joyce said...

I like the lesson tucked in this post. And here is my solution for kids who 'pester' while on the phone-
Smarties. Yes, the candy. Those little things can be doled out one roll at a time when you're on the phone.
I find a little sugar helps keeps everyone happy and occupied.

Taylor said...

Oh phone calls. I have to lock myself in the laundry room.

I have basically switched to texting in hopes that I, too, won't have to threaten my children with the finger slicing throat sign. :)

How long is Josh gone? :(

melicity said...

LOL! The "look" is something that I had to perfect when I became a teacher. I made a fourth grade boy cry once using that look. It *is* evil and you would think they would get the message.

Your bolg totally cracks me up. You should write a book. You and Taylor together. You would become gobzillionaires.

Anonymous said...

My child is 14 and still has phone-radar! LOL

Connie F-G

Tayler said...

Can I borrow Alex's skirt?

Please and thank you.

Elaine said...

You know what's not funny? that as i sat here trying to read this they wouldn't leave me alone! like dude you JUST got a new movie from netflix in the mail. i JUST sat down. Do you really need to come in here and explain every preview to me? NO GO AWAY! lol

Elaine said...

You know what's not funny? that as i sat here trying to read this they wouldn't leave me alone! like dude you JUST got a new movie from netflix in the mail. i JUST sat down. Do you really need to come in here and explain every preview to me? NO GO AWAY! lol

Heather and Scott said...

I love them too!! :)

Jamie said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning! I can completely relate to the whole phone situation. :):)

Nicole said...

you know...dogs also have phone radar. Jackson likes to play the in-out game when I get on the phone. It's so annoing and hand signals don't work w/ him either!