***

***

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

It's 10pm

and I should be going to bed.
Because my five year old has to drag me out of bed every morning, warning me that she's going to be late for the bus and asking would I please get her some juice.

And somehow that doesn't make me feel like a very good parent.

I'm lacking motivation to get up off of the couch right now, even though I'm well aware that it is the only way to actually get into bed.

Standing in my way is the need to make the kid a lunch and write a note to send to her teacher, requesting that Alex be sent home on the bus.

Because the after school pick-up situation is That Bad.
And the bus goes past our house about 8 minutes after we get back in the door.
I love her and all, but that 8 extra minutes? Totally not worth it.
And then I won't have to wake up Derek on the bi-monthly occasion that he actually falls asleep at naptime.

Good news on the Derek front!
His penis has lost it's novelty and is no longer a musttouchatalltimes body part.
However I still need to keep my eyes open for when he's tired and bored in public.

Did I share with you what happened at Mickey's Philharmagic, which happens to be the best show in all of Magic Kingdom?
Well, we were waiting to enter the theater and I happened to glance down and see that Derek had pulled his little friend right out of his pants in front of a huge crowd.

Naturally I backed away, and disgustedly asked Josh, "Sir, is that your son? Because I think you need to control him."

Okay, not really.

But the other part is true.

Kids.

Earlier this evening I was forced to sew a patch onto Alex's Sparks vest for Awanas.
It was humbling.
Mother, why did you forsake my training in this area?

I told Alex to make sure she doesn't let anyone see the inside of her vest. I've told her to consider it to be a private part.

Also, both my main vacuum as well as my hand held vac have combined forces to stage a revolt against me this week.
Neither of them will do more than push crumbs around on my floor.
I'm sure I need to clean the filters, but I think I'm fighting a losing battle.

So I'm going to get a new vacuum.
And it shall be nice.
And lovely.
And it shall suck.

Because my current one blows.

Lastly, goodnight.

6 comments:

Christina said...

Perfect ending with the vacuum bit. :)
I got a Dyson a couple of years ago. It still needs to be maintained. Wah!
Eliana pulled down her pants in Sam's the other day. The guy behind us in the aisle seemed amused. The things kids do!

Taylor said...

I HATE HATE HATE sewing on patches. I am seriously a sewing idiot.

Definitely the bus. Definitely.

Yay for no more private parts touching! We are still working on that one over here. :)

Joyce said...

I have three words for you on those patches-

hot glue gun

Heather and Scott said...

I'm with your friend Joyce, hot glue those patches on...but be forewarned...they will fall off and the child will be sad.

Bus is sounding like a good option!

Let me know what vacuum sucker you get.

Erin said...

On our move from IN to ID, the movers didn't load the vacuum on the truck. There was no way it would fit in our van unless it went on someone's lap for that 26 hour journey, so I very humbly decided to leave it behind our old Hoover and buy a Dyson when we got to ID. Those loaders were awesome.

Maybe I shouldn't tell you I just opened my own Etsy shop. Marina is my consultant so I know to make everything super frilly.

Proverbs 31 Wannabe said...

My vacuum bit the dust so to speak just today. I guess we'll be shopping for a new one as well.
Love Philharmagic! It's one of my favorites. Yay for no more hands in the pants. I am sewing deficient. My kids don't even ask me. They ask my mom or my grandmother to sew things for them and I'm good with that. It means that I don't have to give it a try and then feel totally inadequate when I see how badly it turned out.