and I should be going to bed.
Because my five year old has to drag me out of bed every morning, warning me that she's going to be late for the bus and asking would I please get her some juice.
And somehow that doesn't make me feel like a very good parent.
I'm lacking motivation to get up off of the couch right now, even though I'm well aware that it is the only way to actually get into bed.
Standing in my way is the need to make the kid a lunch and write a note to send to her teacher, requesting that Alex be sent home on the bus.
Because the after school pick-up situation is That Bad.
And the bus goes past our house about 8 minutes after we get back in the door.
I love her and all, but that 8 extra minutes? Totally not worth it.
And then I won't have to wake up Derek on the bi-monthly occasion that he actually falls asleep at naptime.
Good news on the Derek front!
His penis has lost it's novelty and is no longer a musttouchatalltimes body part.
However I still need to keep my eyes open for when he's tired and bored in public.
Did I share with you what happened at Mickey's Philharmagic, which happens to be the best show in all of Magic Kingdom?
Well, we were waiting to enter the theater and I happened to glance down and see that Derek had pulled his little friend right out of his pants in front of a huge crowd.
Naturally I backed away, and disgustedly asked Josh, "Sir, is that your son? Because I think you need to control him."
Okay, not really.
But the other part is true.
Earlier this evening I was forced to sew a patch onto Alex's Sparks vest for Awanas.
It was humbling.
Mother, why did you forsake my training in this area?
I told Alex to make sure she doesn't let anyone see the inside of her vest. I've told her to consider it to be a private part.
Also, both my main vacuum as well as my hand held vac have combined forces to stage a revolt against me this week.
Neither of them will do more than push crumbs around on my floor.
I'm sure I need to clean the filters, but I think I'm fighting a losing battle.
So I'm going to get a new vacuum.
And it shall be nice.
And it shall suck.
Because my current one blows.