I done got tagged.

I have been tagged by my internet friend, Taylor. Also known as The Lumberjack's Wife.

Her husband is an electrician.
Obviously.

She would totally be my "in real life" friend if we lived anywhere close to each other.

Maybe I'll call her up one day and just pretend like we're phone friends.

But what if her voice is such that it ruins any friend potential? What if she sounds like a man? Or worse, Kerri Strug?

It's a quandary. I'll think on it.

Then again, I dislike talking on the phone anyway, so maybe I should just leave well enough alone.

Let's get back to the tag...She has posted 8 questions that I must answer, and then I'm to tag 8 other people with new questions that I come up with. Punishable by death for non-participation.

Here we go:

1. What is one food you detest?

This is a tough one. I'm not sure that there are any foods that I "detest." I boast equal-opportunity taste buds.
Depending on my hunger level, I can be tempted by pretty much anything.

But I shall choose....

Fig Newtons.

I don't like them. They're gross.

But Josh likes them, so this works out well for me. I can safely keep a snack in the house that he enjoys, but does not test my willpower. The same cannot be said about basically any other sweet thing in our pantry.

2. What is your perfect day?

I awaken around 9:39am. Late enough to feel rested and early enough to avoid the guilty feelings.

I drink coffee in my pajamas out on the back deck. The children, who have gotten themselves breakfasted and dressed, join me there to play together, without any fighting.

They take turns reading aloud from some educational book. They are far enough away that they don't disturb me as I read People magazine.

Soon I hear the door open, as my personal chef lets herself into the house. She begins to prepare lunch and dinner.

After lunch, I decide that I should go shopping. I take the children with me, and they stand quietly by my side while I shop as long as I like. They never ask for any snacks, never have to go to the bathroom, don't run through the stores, and definitely don't touch any breakables.
Because of this, I buy them lots of treats.

They rave that I am the best mommy in the world.

We come home. Dinner smells delicious.
And wouldn't you know? Daddy is home for dinner!

We eat together, each of us sharing the details of our day with the others. Derek accidentally touches his sister's foot under the table.

She smiles sweetly at him, realizing that it will not cause permanent injury.

After dinner, we play a game together as a family.
I win. Nobody cries.

The children declare that they are plumb worn out. After bathing themselves, we snuggle up for story time.

They both agreed on the same book, of course.

We tuck them into bed. It is 6:45pm.

We have three hours to ourselves. Details are not permitted, but you can insure that the letters "v" and "t" will be involved.

Are you thinking unpure thoughts?

I'm obviously talking about the television.

The End.

3. If you could take a vacation next week, where would you go?

Maybe Hawaii. I've never been there.

Or the Mediterranean. I've never been there either.

Or maybe somewhere in the mountains, since the leaves are changing colors now.

Or...

4. What are five of your favorite blogs?

The Pioneer Woman. Of course.
She is the blogger supreme in my book.

ohsoposhphotography.com is a photo blog that is just amazing. Love her pictures! I double dog dare you to look at this post and not perish from cuteness overload.

boomama.net. She's a southern gal who delights in college football, bacon, and minutia. I'm on board with all three.

The Lumberjack's Wife. Did you think I would forget you Taylor? Au contraire!

For my fifth favorite blog, I will cheat and include a "group entry." This includes all my in real life friends that I check in on daily. Even though some of you NEED TO UPDATE MORE OFTEN. I think you know who you are.

5. What are your thoughts on The Facebook?

Ah, The Facebook.

I appreciate it's merits. We move so often and leave so many friends behind that it's truly impossible to keep up with each one via e-mail or telephone. So it's great to be kept up to date on their lives, and to see pictures of their families.

But I just wish that people would limit their updates to things that other people might actually care about.
I still can't come to terms with the people who post that they have nothing to post about. It drives me batty.

6. Are your parents technological goobers, like mine?

In a word, yes.

My mother once tried to comment on my blog.
She never was able to figure it out.

7. If you had to choose between losing 15 pounds forever, but never wearing makeup again OR having perfect skin but putting on 15 pounds permanently . . . what would it be?

Oh my.
A few years ago this would have been an easy choice-- I'd be saying goodbye to those 15 pounds in a hurry. But now, well, my face is needing the makeup.

But I think I'd still go with the 15 pounds. And then try to find a loophole in which I get some sort of tattooed makeup, or have a friend who comes by my house each morning to spray some sort of liquid foundation into the air that I just conveniently run through, face first.

Or I could move to a society of nocturnal people, and only come out after sunset.

8. What is your best recipe? (so I can steal it! ha!)

Mix pancake batter from box. Begin to cook as directed. Become distracted. Flip pancakes, they will be burned.

Repeat.

When both sides are burned, remove from skillet and cry a little.

Peel back both burnt sides from the pancakes, and be left with a pile of pancake innards. Roll the innards into balls.

Convince your children that "pancake balls" are a real food.

Take a moment to appreciate that your husband is never home by dinner time.

Tell yourself you will do better next time.

It will be a lie.

Steal away, Taylor. Steal away.

And now, I shall tag...

Heather

Erin

Rachael

Christina

Jen

Melicity

Michelle

Jennifer

Your 8 questions are:

1) What has been the most surprising aspect of motherhood in your experience? If you're not a mom, what is it like to go to the bathroom in privacy?

2) How often do you shave your legs in the winter?

3) What's your favorite thing to do online? If shopping, what site?

4) If you already possessed the necessary education and experience level, what would you choose for your dream job?

5) Share a "last-minute" dinner recipe. No pancake balls, please.

6) Do you speed or drive the speed limit?

7) If you could live anywhere, where would you choose?

8) What kind of new vacuum should I buy?

ps-- It's not really punishable by death. No pressure if you'd rather not participate.

Am I nice or what?