There's nothing to be scared of here.

1) I'm falling behind in blogging all of the important things in my life, things like the status of my plastic bag cupboard and R-rated salt shakers. Because of this, I am returning to my favorite way of posting: The List

2) Remember when I asked you guys to guess what this picture was?

Well you're all terrible bloggy friends because only one person even cared to take a guess.
I suppose that's payback for when I made you all study this intently, only to later divulge that you were staring at the junk of a lion.

So now we're even.

But Jen McDaniel took a guess, and I was quite impressed with her acumen. She guessed it was a naked mermaid salt shaker for Pat the Bunny.
Oh Jen, you know me so well.

While technically not a mermaid, you were very, very close! And kudos to you for remembering that PtB has a tacky salt and pepper shaker collection! You are a loyal blog-reader Jen, and as promised, you may now buy my house in Idaho.

Warning--  the following picture contains ceramic breasts.

I didn't buy it.
My children visit PtB's home.
And if I ever found my pubertal son secretly staring at this salt shaker, it would haunt me forever.

3) On that same blog post, my friend Sally commented that she actually knows what poo oil is!
I shall pass along her knowledge:

I'm kind of ashamed that I actually know what Poo Oil is... and its only because a dear friend in Florida owned a hoity-toity boutique (you know, the kind only rich Florida grandmas can afford to shop in) and they sold Poo Oil... what it is, is oil you put inside your toilet bowl and then when you, er, poo... and flush (this would be difficult for some boys in my family to remember to do, unfortunately) the scent of the oil (hopefully) releases and covers up the smell of said poo.

There,

You are welcome.

Thank you Sally! I will sleep better tonight now that I know that.

4) Last weekend we went to Virginia. Our friend Nicole lives there and we stayed a night at her place, then spent a night at the Great Wolf Lodge.

5) Nicole is everything I am not. She is motivated, organized, clean, hospitable, and a natural caregiver. Even back in our college days, she was always the one taking care of everyone else, the one to take care of the details, and generally just the kind of person you want as a friend.

So naturally I repaid her by making her the butt of my practical jokes.

I'm not sure why she put(s) up with me.

But she does! Yea!

6) Nicole had cookie dough all pre-made and ready for the kids to cut  into shapes and decorate for Valentine's day.

7) She also has a petting zoo, so the children were happy as clams.

(We planned to attempt to keep Derek from touching the cats, but it turns out that since he is so loud and clumsy, he scared them off on his own.)

8) Great Wolf Lodge: do you know this place? They have several locations around the country. It's a hotel chain w/ an indoor waterpark.

9) Do you ever take your kids somewhere and think about how much fun they're going to have, and then while you're there remember that kids can suck the fun out of any outing?

The water's cold!

That slide is scary!

I don't like the waves!

Somebody splashed me!

Thankfully, it just took a little time for them to get over their issues and a good time was had by all.

10) In the lobby, they have a bedtime story & show.

The trees come to life and there is some cheesy singing and animatronics about life in the forest.  It is totally fitting that the main chorus was : "There's nothing to be scared of here"

Because my dear son was terrified of the talking trees.
He spent the entire show with his head buried in his daddy's lap.

Later we realized that he was anticipating a "show" like the ones he watches on TV. He thought he was going to watch a movie. So he was patiently waiting, with his head buried, for the tree to stop singing so he could watch a "show."

When we all got up to leave after the singing stopped, he had a total meltdown about not getting to see the "show" that didn't exist.

Good times.

11) While a weekend away is fun, I'm glad we are following it up with a low-key weekend at home. The weather is beautiful and we have no agenda.
It's lovely.

12) I gotta go.