Sky Mall

You may remember, as I've mentioned it a time or twenty, that I recently sailed away on a cruise.
Without my children.
And with my friend.

It was lovely, if you recall.

Do you know what else was lovely?
For the first time in over 5 years, I traveled by air without children. What a refreshing change.
I wont even talk about how difficult it is to get through security on your own with two small children.
The shoes, the jackets, the carry-ons, the kids afraid to walk through the metal detectors, trying to shove the stroller through the conveyor belt opening , etc.

Oops, I guess I did talk about it.

Honestly the thought of going through security alone with them was once enough to make me consider days worth of driving. Really. That bad.
Fortunately, they're a little older now, so I think should the need arise I could handle it much better these days.
Unfortunately, they're both old enough to require their own tickets, so now that it's feasible to do, it's too dang expensive to bother with.

Where was I?
Oh yes, air travel: alone.
Security was a breeze, and then when I got on the airplane I was able to read one of my favorite magazines.
Sky Mall!

Who doesn't like this collection of random stuff they put together? Sky Mall: Where ingenuity meets crazy.

I picked out several of my favorite things to share with you.
See? I was thinking about you even while on my way to paradise.

And then as soon as I landed I said: Blog? What blog?
There is sun to be had.
And truffletinis.

But back to SkyMall.
In no particular order of craziness:

1)) Hidden Litterbox

I get the concept-- let's make the necessary item blend in with the rest of the home.
However, I think there is a major flaw in the design.
I am no cat owner. But I have taken care of friends' cats from time to time, and I've learned a thing or two.
Maybe I'm exaggerating. I've only learned one thing:
Litter boxes do not smell fresh. So why exactly would I want to place one in my living room, next to the couch?
This idea stinks.
Literally.
What they really need is to refer to this next product:

2) Litter Kwitter.

I think it was just the creepy way the cat was staring at me in the advertisement that made me stop and take a closer look. I felt like the cat was angry that it's picture was being taken while he or she was...indisposed.

Mostly it's just funny that people actually potty-train their cats. Although I can see the perks. It beats having their bathroom in your living room.
I went to the website to try to get the picture. It's kind of disturbing. There are video clips of cats doing their business.
I felt a like a creepy voyeur.
See for yourself.

3) Helpy carry-on harness.

Moving on from the cat products, here we have The Helpy Carry-on Harness.
The Helpy? 
Couldn't the creative geniuses who came up with the product design also come up with a decent name?

Maybe something like Dragging my Dignity.

4) Sky Rest


As someone who can only sleep on her stomach (which incidentally made pregnancy a sleepless torture that I dared to think would improve after the baby came out-- ha!), this idea intrigues me.

Maybe I could actually sleep on an airplane with this thing.

But it's just so funny looking.

Oh, what the heck. As long as I'm making a fool out of myself I might as well don my Helpy and grab a Sky Rest to go with it, right?

5) The Civilized Butler

This last product looks perfectly normal, but like every other SkyMall product-- it's not.
Read the description:

"No more rude buzzers, please. This alarm clock wakes you first with the sound of gentle birdsong, then a discreet cough and comforting words "Good morning, Madam" followed by a charming and amusing message -- a different one each morning (six months worth before they start repeating). The voice is that of British actor Stephen Fry (Jeeves of Jeeves and Wooster fame). Message sample: "(discreet cough) Good morning, Madam. I'm so sorry to disturb you, but it appears to be morning. Very inconvenient, I agree. I believe it is the rotation of the earth that is to blame." "

I actually think I need this.
I really like British accents; they make everything that's said seem a little better than if you heard it in an American accent.
And since one of the worst things you can do to me is to wake me up, it has to be better coming from Jeeves, no?

So there you have it, my 5 favorite products from the most recent SkyMall.
Good news! You don't even have to fly to get these wonderful items. SkyMall is online.

Happy Shopping.