Today, because I haven't blogged since Sunday, because you probably can't stand any more of my lame "I'm too busy" excuses, and because my father-in-law is snoring on the recliner across the room, I am going to participate in Joyce's Wednesday Hodgepodge.
I like Joyce. I don't know her in real life, but she reads my blog. And that makes me like her.
It also makes her a charitable sort of person. Because I know those of you who read here are just doing it to be nice to me.
And that's okay.
I'll take you however you come.
But Joyce takes her charity a step further. She leaves me comments.
They are like the whipped cream on my latte.
The meatball on my spaghetti.
The motrin for my headache.
The gas-X for my flatulence.
The bun in my oven.
I'm getting carried away here, aren't I?
What I mean to say is that comments are what I live for.
Okay, not really.
But I do like them a lot.
PS. Joyce, don't feel as though you need to comment on this post now.
But if you don't, I'll just keep checking my e-mail every ten minutes until you do.
Back to the Hodgepodge-- Joyce lists some questions, anyone can jump in and join by posting their answers.
1. What does it mean to have the 'holiday spirit'?
Here's a little exchange from my house last night, to give you an idea of my holiday spirit.
Me: If I have to lick one more envelope, my tongue is going to fall off and I might die.
Josh: Why aren't you using a sponge? Don't you watch Seinfeld?
**We hear Derek crying from his bedroom.**
Me: Would you go and check on your son? He's crying about having boogies and probably needs a tissue.
Josh: It's your turn to check on him.
Me: Yes, well I gave them baths tonight and wiped a lot of poop today.
Josh: But I'm doing work.
Me: Oh, you're doing work. And what is it that I'm doing? Do you think salivating on all these envelopes is fun? I AM JUST TRYING TO SPREAD SOME HOLIDAY JOY!
*keeps licking, husband eventually does the checking and necessary boogie wiping*
2. What's tops your tree (s)? Why?
This one of a kind angel made by an up-and-coming artist who now moonlights as a kindergartner.
We once had a star that we had bought as a tree-topper, but it turns out that our $14.99 fake tree from Big Lots circa 2001 couldn't hold up it's weight.
Do you know that if you buy a tree for 15 dollars and use it for 9 Christmases, that you only pay $1.66 for your tree each year?
I should have majored in math, I think.
But this year, we bought a new (fake) tree. It's pre-lit, so you see we're moving up in the world.
3. When was the last time you gave yourself a pat on the back?
Probably when I managed to find The Best Christmas Jumper Ever.
Which I am considering instituting a new tradition of wearing every Christmas morn.
4. Which of your senses is most sensitive this time of year?
My sixth sense.
I see dead people. They're everywhere.
How about my sense of injustice?
Me: Why do I always get all jiggly in the middle at Christmastime? Why aren't all of these treats calorie free? Oh the injustice!
5. What is there too much of in your kitchen?
Do you remember this picture?
Well it just so happens that on this very day, I took many a plastic bag to the recycling area at The Walmarts.
So now I will have to go with:
Multitudes of oranges.
My snoring father in law sends us boxes upon boxes of oranges each winter. Which is lovely.
Know what I finally thought to obtain just this very day while recycling plastic bags at the Walmarts?
Come tomorrow morning, the OJ will be flowing.
6. What do you do for meals on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day? Big meal? Breakfast tradition? Open the cookie tins and have at it?
Is Papa John's open on Christmas?
Let me get back to you on this one.
7. What is the best thing about winter?
Sweaters cover a multitude of sins.
Also, leg shaving requirements are null and void.
Unless of course, you actually desire to feel feminine and attractive. Then it would be wise to shave every once in a while.
8. Insert your own random thought here.
I have watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas more times than I can count this season. (The animated 30 minute one, not the movie.) The boy has taken a liking to it and requests it every time he gets to watch a show. (read: every time I want him to leave me the heck alone)
Those little Who's in Whoville will grow on you after a while.
I think I'm even up to some more envelope-licking tonight.