Friday, July 27, 2012

I would like some cheese with my whine.

I find I've been having less patience with things and people in general lately.
How's that for a blanket statement?

Usually I don't like to ruffle anyone's feathers or cause conflict, but I'm feeling ornery in my old age.
We've been dealing with military bureaucracy as we prepare for an overseas move, and on top of that I feel like we've been inundated with appointments and "stuff."

Here's an example for you... The military medical system  has a close relationships with their records. The records are like their babies who they want to cuddle and rock and not let out of their sight.
So when we moved from North Carolina to California, under no circumstances were we to be allowed to hand-carry our medical records. It's been a rule for a long time, since folks used to lose them.
Whatevs. I'm down with that.

Only the problem is that every time we move, "they" lose our records.

Once we got settled here, and enrolled to our myriad of new doctors and dentists, Josh inquired about our medical records.


Then found.
In Texas, I believe.

When they finally arrived, I wasted no time in calling the kids' new doctor to schedule physicals for them because I knew we'd be needing medical clearances for Spain. I called in early July and they told me the soonest they could get us in was sometime in September.


2 days ago, I stopped in to the kids' school because I hadn't received any info on school supplies or, well, anything. (It turns out that they post the teachers and supply list at the school, the day before school starts. Interesting.)
 I asked a few questions about how they deal with food allergies, and they gave me a form to have signed by the doctor so Derek can have his epi-pen at school.

Today I took that by the doctor's office. It didn't go that well.

Receptionist with an overly-friendly voice:  Hmmmm. Well it looks like Derek has never been seen here. 
Me: Nope. But he has an appointment coming up, and you have his records. But I do need the form before school starts. 
Her: Well our doctor can't fill out any form without having seen the child.
Me: Hmm. Well I don't need the medication, I already have it. You will find proof of his peanut allergy in his record. I just need permission to have his epi-pen at school. 
Her: We can't just go off the records. 
Me: Why not? I can assure you they are not forged, for I am not allowed to touch them.
Her: We are just going to have to get him seen first. 
Me: But I was told I couldn't get him in until September. 
Her: Well that was for a physical. This can be for an allergy check-up.
Me: He doesn't need an allergy checkup. I just need this paper signed.
Her:  He has to be seen.
Me: It seems like a waste of time for the doctor. And me. And now I'm curious. How does seeing Derek let the doctor know that he's allergic to peanuts? Is he going to feed him a peanut at the appointment to see what happens?
Her: Oh no. The doctor will look through his medical records.
Me: Exactly. 

So we'll be going in for an appointment on August 1st.
And another one on September 5th.

And Alex has had 4 dentist/orthodontist appointments in the last 2 weeks, has 2 more scheduled as well as her own physical in September.
Of course, not on the same day as Derek's physical, as that would violate their regulations banning convenience.

If you need me, I'll either be at the pediatrician's or the orthodontist's.
They obviously don't care that I want to hermit with the little time I have left of summer.

So we've taken the plunge and gotten Alex started on "Phase 1" of orthodontics. Which is a fancy way of saying that she needs twice as much work as the average kid, and will cost us twice as much.
She's now the owner of a semi-permanent lower retainer and in a couple of weeks will have a palatal expander put in. Then she'll be getting some more baby teeth pulled.
Poor kid.
But hopefully this will help make room for all her permanent teeth to come in and make the "regular braces" easier down the road. We have just enough time to finish the prescribed course of treatment before going to Spain. It should buy us enough time to be back in the States, or at least at a base with military support services, when she's ready for braces.

Speaking of expensive things, do you know how much it costs for a family of 4 to get passports?

I'm wondering who can afford to travel overseas after they pay for passports and procreating a child with a small mouth?

I think I'll stop whining now.
Overall, things are good. Monterey is still beautiful, and slightly chilly. Pat the Bunny is in town visiting us, and Josh and I have been sneaking off on little dates here and there. Holla for free babysitting.

Since I like free, I'm sure you do, too. Here is your free Spanish lesson for the night.
The word ganar means to win in Spanish. If you conjugate that verb in first or third person singular,  future conditional tense, you would add an ía to the end of the word.
This leaves you with ganaría.
If you need help with the pronounciation, here's a hint-- "the clap."

Don't say you never learn anything here.
"I would win!" in Spanish = "gonorrhea" in English.

 Y ahora, tengo que acostarme. Adiós y buenas noches.



Joyce said...

Hunker down. There is much bureaucracy with any move but particularly one overseas. You haven't even gotten to the nonsense on that end : ) A friend who just moved to the UK said she filled her change of address form out in blue ink and they returned it saying it must be in black. And her husband has to sign. And of course he was in the states. One day these things will be funny.

I once wrote a whole post about trying to get my daughter a college physical in the UK. It only took 5 trips to the dr. office and two to two different hospitals. One ordinary little form. It was insane!

Jennifer said...

Don't you hate stuff like that? I totally would have signed that form for you :) Us peanut allergy folks have to stick together. As long as a NP's signature would have been ok, that is! Let me know how Alex's dental work goes. We are struggling enough with the whole change with United Concordia to MetLife... I'm impressed that you were able to handle all that you are right now! I was happy to just schedule a cleaning for the girls! :) Take care!!

Sunny said...

I just finished reading Confessions of a Military Wife by Mollie Gross and thought of you. It was fu-nny! I say this because it seems like you totally have time to read right now. Deep cleansing breaths. ;)

Not that I'm advocating impersonating a Dr or anything, but I bet someone you know could probably write, if not sign, like a doctor would. Especially a doctor who lives out of state.

The Henry Crew! said...

UGH - and WHAT is up with our guys being able to hand-carry their medical files, but we, the dependents, can not? Grrr... add that to the beauocracy (i.e. idiocy) of drs offices and it's enough to make you want to crawl in the corner and rock quietly with a glass of wine. Just sayin...

I hoped maybe I would stumble across you during our whirlwind two days in Monterey - Trader Joes, of course, and CVS for much-needed pinochle cards and wine... but you were neither of those places... go figure... :-) Next time we are in town hopefully it won't be for a funeral (!) and I'll have time for socializing and such!

The Lumberjack's Wife said...

I liked your phone call. That's all.

mikeandmelissafisher said...

Hello friend! I sympathize, empathize, and overseas-athize. Nobody goes through the overseas PCS without a boat-load of passport and medical stories, mine almost resulting in my husband spending 3 years alone in Japan ;) Good luck! And...still jealous ;)

mikeandmelissafisher said...

p.s. Glad to see you are still blogging. I seem to have forgotten how...

Erin said...

You know what, it's no better off base. Justin had all of ours copied for the Dr in ABQ. A month later they were still lost. Not helpful when you need those referrals!