Let's check the mail.

It's 12:30 on a Monday.
So far I've drank two cups of coffee, done a load of laundry, and the facebookings.

Facebook can be a letdown when you live in Europe and all of your "friends" are sleeping.

This reminds me that I wrote a whole blog post earlier this month in which I made New Year's resolutions on behalf of my facebook friends. It was funny. But in the end, it was a little too snarky to hit "publish" on and so I didn't.
You know what they say-- If you can't say something nice....

Now I'm trying to work up the energy to check the mail.
You think I jest.

These are the steps involved:
1) Make myself presentable. This is no easy task.
2) Collect my metro pass, embassy badge, wallet, and keys.

Number of times I have arrived at the embassy without my badge: too embarrassing to disclose.

3) Descend from my apartment. Chat with our portero Carlos.
4) Walk two blocks to the bus stop. Wait for the 9, 19, or 51.
5) Get on the bus. Attempt to remember to get off at my stop while simultaneously remembering that if I sing out loud with my earphones in, other people will hear me.

Number of times I've forgotten to get off at my stop: too embarrassing to disclose.

6) Get off the bus. Walk three blocks downhill to the embassy back entrance.
7) Show my badge.

If I've forgotten my badge, this is when I curse myself and leave in defeat.

8) Walk through the guard building, through the parking lot, and swipe my badge at the door.
9) Go in and push the elevator button. Wait a short lifetime. Wonder when they're ever going to fix the second elevator that's been out of service for months. Contemplate that I'm waiting 5 minutes to go down one floor but have no stair options that aren't locked.
10) Go down one floor. Chat with José the mail guy. He corrects my Spanish for me.
11) Open the mailbox we share with 4 other people, look for a package. If there is no package, experience disappointment. If there is a package, but it's not addressed to me, experience jealousy. I do a lot of internet shopping. And a lot of waiting.
12) Filter through the envelopes for anything with our name on it.
13) Lock the box. Go upstairs. Leave from the back door, walk through the parking lot, go back through the guard building. Walk one block to the bus stop. Wait for the bus.
14) You get the idea.


And that is why I have to work up the energy to check the mail.
I would like to install a small camera into our mailbox so I can see if I have a package before making the trip, because I assure you that going for a bank statement hardly seems worth it.

Happy Monday.